Chris -- if they had Sellers 'wish' on this list it would certainly be for more options. Requested price $0.17 with taxes paid by the company...
CEO Christmas List 2001: A Motley Fool Exclusive
In a major scoop, our Alaskan correspondent has gained
exclusive access to Santa Claus' 2001 CEO Christmas present list.
Santa Claus Enterprises (Ticker: YULE) has refused to verify the
authenticity of the list, but heck, that's never stopped us before.
A source close to Claus Enterprises confirmed that such a list
exists, and generally contains a mixture of "what the child wants
and what we think the child deserves." Asked about the propriety
of calling some of the titans of industry "children," the source
snapped, "well, what would YOU call them?"
Some of the highlights of the list include:
Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. (NYSE: NWS): A professional
baseball team.
David Wetherell, CMGI (Nasdaq: CMGI): A calculator.
Joseph Berardino, Arthur Andersen: An "I'm with stupid"
t-shirt.
Larry Ellison, Oracle (Nasdaq: ORCL) A chia pet. It's the closest
thing to "Bill Gates' scalp" that we could find.
Steve Ballmer, Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT): Tap shoes and
dancing lessons.
William Clay Ford, Ford (NYSE: F): A quarterback and a new set
of tires.
Meg Whitman, eBay (NYSE: EBAY): Another shot at Item
#837249. Man, those last minute bid snipers are good.
Ken Lay, Enron (NYSE: ENE): Coal, with a debt swap attached so
that in six months he will owe us $727 million for it.
C. Michael Armstrong, AT&T (NYSE: T): A sledgehammer.
John Creighton, United Airlines (NYSE: U): Nothing. As if $10
billion from the government weren't enough...
Jeffery Immelt, General Electric (NYSE: GE): An autographed
copy of "From the Gut," by Jack Welch.
Henry Schacht, Lucent (NYSE: LU): A life preserver.
Carly Fiorina, Hewlett-Packard (NYSE: HWP): A copy of "How to
Win Friends and Influence People."
Bernard Ebbers, WorldCom (Nasdaq: WCOM): A subscription to
TMF Money Advisor.
Michael Kowalski, Tiffany & Co. (NYSE: TIF): Six Christmases a
year.
Charles Schwab, Charles Schwab (NYSE: SCH): A new bull
market.
Joe Nacchio, Qwest (NYSE: Q): Humility. Nahhhhh. More of the
same!
Henry Blodget & Mary Meeker: 1998
Jeff Bezos, Amazon.com (Nasdaq: AMZN): What Henry & Mary
said.
Michael Eisner, Disney (NYSE: DIS): Shrek II.
Steve Jobs, Apple (Nasdaq: AAPL): Microsoft settlement includes
agreement for Microsoft to provide inner city schools shiny new
Macintoshes.
Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway (NYSE: BRK.A): Paint,
underwear, bricks, and carpet. Oh, wait, that's last year's list.
All I Want for Christmas...
How about a REAL CEO @ scln? |
