Penni, after I wrote that post last night it occurred to me that it might have seemed like I was questioning your parenting skills, which I was not. I have always thought you and Dan sounded like wonderful parents. I am going through all these issues in my own mind, trying to work out how to the the very best mother to a child who is leaving the nest, and so I get curious when I find out about other similar situations.
I was almost helpless when I left home for college. I knew how to do laundry and housework, because I had done it at home. But I had no idea whatsoever how to manage money, or time, or make good decisions on my own, because I had been very sheltered. My parents had the idea that people should not work until after they graduated from college, so I was very, very immature. The value of money, and why I might not want to type my way through life, weren't serious issues for me.
Interestingly enough, the reason my parents didn't want me to work during college is that they both were forced to by necessity, and thought it was a lot to manage all at one time. So one of the things I am particularly conscious of in rearing my own daughter is to think through the ramifications of my child rearing theories, instead of just doing the opposite, like my parents did on working, which was a horrible decision for me because it took me a lot longer to grow up. Finally, after my sophomore year I just insisted on staying in the town where I went to college, and got a job cleaning student apartments and refurbishing them for the next fall. Of course, by then I was mostly running away from the overprotective atmosphere at home, which is something I am trying not to create again for my daughter.
It really fascinates me that Chelsea Clinton could leave and go three thousand miles away at seventeen. Her dad agreed that she was ready, that it was time for her to be on her own. It is very easy to imagine Bill and Hillary being really bad parents, because they are certainly not model people to most of us, and yet they seemed to do a pretty good job at rearing Chelsea. So there is hope for all of us!! |
