Since my poots are gettinglammed today and all my clown trash I sold for profit up even more, I figure a litlle humor would brighten the day.
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Men's Thesaurus
> >
> > "I'M GOING FISHING"
> > Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
> > stupid,
> > and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while
> > the fish swim by in complete safety."
> >
> > "IT'S A GUY THING"
> > Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
> > connected
> > with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
> > logical."
> >
> > "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
> > Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
> >
> > "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
> > Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
> > response.
> >
> > "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
> > Means: "I have no idea how it works."
> >
> > "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE
> > THINGS
> > ON MY MIND." Means: "I was wondering if that redhead
> > over there is wearing a bra."
> >
> > "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
> > Means:
> > "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
> >
> > "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
> > Means: "Are you still talking?"
> >
> > "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
> > Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
> > the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the
> > vehicle identification numbers of every car I've
> > ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
> >
> > "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE
> > ROSES". Means: "The girl selling them on the corner
> > was a real babe."
> >
> > "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG
> > DEAL."
> > Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will
> > bleed
> > to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
> >
> > "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
> > Means:
> > "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
> >
> > "I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my
> > outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
> >
> > "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
> > Means: "What did you catch me at?"
> >
> > "I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue
> > what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I
> > can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the
> > next 3 days yelling at me."
> >
> > "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
> > Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and
> > realize it could be worse."
> >
> > "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Means: "Please don't try on one
> > more outfit, I'm starving."
> >
> > "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
> > Means:"No one will ever see us alive again."
> >
> > "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Means: "I make the
> > messes, she cleans them up.
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