Thomas Massie Unveils Small, Ugly Budget Bill With A Great Personality
POLITICS·Jul 1, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest move to fight against the looming passage of President Donald Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill," Congressman Thomas Massie unveiled his very own "Small, Ugly Budget Bill with a Great Personality."
Touted by Massie as a far more fiscally responsible budget bill, the proposal was designed to provide a financially conservative alternative to Trump's enormous spending bill.
"This bill may not stop traffic or anything, but it's kind of cute in its own way," Massie said. "Sure, the President's bill is getting all the attention from all the guys in Congress, but sometimes it's better to look deeper than just what's on the outside. This is a perfectly decent, intelligent bill that you can feel confident will take good care of you in the future. Not go gallivanting around town getting a bad reputation like Trump's floozy of a bill."
The president immediately pushed back against Massie's proposal. "Nobody wants an ugly bill," Trump told reporters. "Massie doesn't know what he's doing. Look at him. He's got glasses. He's not the guy you want creating bills. My bill is beautiful. My bill is a 10, believe me. Everyone wishes they could have a bill like mine. It's a supermodel bill. That's what people are saying. His bill probably couldn't even get a date, if I'm being honest with you. His bill is in need of a massive makeover like in the movie She's All That, though I don't even know if that would help. Very sad."
At publishing time, Massie was continuing to pitch the benefits of his bill, including its high test scores and how well it takes care of children. |
