Re: 11/20/01 - Fuckedcompany.com: Printcafe.com vs. Ex-DLJ, Sucky-me, and Idiot!
This week's Fuckedcompany.com is dedicated to PrintCafe.com
So a few minutes ago I returned home from a nice Thanksgiving weekend at my parents place. In my mailbox was the most hilarious legal letter ever:
"PrintCafe vs. Ex-DLJ, sucky-me, and idiot!" (link to fuckedcompany.com
IN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS
OF ALLEGHENY COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA
CIVIL DIVISION
PRINTCAFE, INC.
Plaintiff
vs.
EX-DLJ, an individual; SUCKY-ME,
an individual; and IDIOT!, an
individual,
Defendants.
G.D. No. 01-22850
MOTION FOR COMMISSIONS TO
TAKE OUT-OF-STATE DEPOSITIONS
No Real Estate Involved
Code: 011
Counsel for Plaintiff:
Terry Budd
Pa. I.D. 38591
MArk D. Feczko
Pa. I.D. No. 73827
Jill D. Helbling
Pa. I.D. No. 85959
Kirkpatrick & Lockhart LLP
Henry W. Oliver Building
535 Smithfield Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15222
412/355-6500 (tele.)
412/355-6501 (facs.)
Firm No. 148
At first I thought it was a joke, but then I realized that some brilliant company I'd never heard of nor written about, PrintCafe.com (http://www.printcafe.com/), felt it was a good use of their time and money to surf Fuckedcompany's message board archives (http://forum.fuckedcompany.com/phpcomments/index.php?newsid=11195174991&page=18&parentid=0&crapfilter=1) and hire fancy lawyers (http://www.kl.com/) to try and sue anonymous posters. They're trying to subpoena me for my records -- but being as there are no records, they're gonna have to try real hard.
Another top-notch frivolous, ego-driven lawsuit, classic fucked dot-com move, and funneee to boot! Guess that didn't stop K&L from collecting the poor sap's legal fees.
It's just too bad I turned in my book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743228626/fc-20) last week -- PrintCafe.com woulda gotten a special mention...
Way to go, guys!
Here's the letter.
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
Click here to comment
forum.fuckedcompany.com
Click here to enter Fuckedcompany.com
fuckedcompany.com
"sucky-me, idiots!",
pud
=====
Sample posts:
sucky-me
unregistered re: Mask - The sequal Oct 18 2001 11:04AM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by erp_qa:
Bill G is teaching at Carnegie Mellon U this semester (and I'm sure you all think no one there knows anything about printing or tech or e-whatever at CMU, too, right?) and is no longer co-CEO but still sits on the board of dirs. Never met his wife.
Proteus is up and live at hundreds of sites around the world as it has been for several years. Though I wouldn't say it is the most advanced product known to man, I don't understand why posters on this site say "that shit don't work" about anything they don't like. I don't like Cheney but he seems to still be in office.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.) What is Bill Guttman teaching, how to fuck up a business in 10 easy steps???? Come on you ass-kissing pussy, Guttman fucked up nth degree and also everything he touched at printCafe. His wife is a CUNT BITCH who is perhaps the most nasty person on the face of the earth. She felt being married to Guttman (that should tell you somethin about her) gave her the right to treat everyone like shit. I guess being married to Guttman would have something to do with it.
Additionally, Protues SUCKS!! I know of many customers who pruchased it and did not even get it up and running from day 1 w/o problems. Then Guttman and Co. would walk away from servicing their product forcing the customer to fix it themselves and and live with the patched version. How do I know this? I was a customer!
Quit kissing Guttman's ass and get a life!
View original post | View the 1 reply to this comment Reply | Edit | Post a new comment
=====
Ex-DLJ
unregistered PrintCafe may Seek Bankruptcy Protection Oct 18 2001 02:05PM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside sources indicate printCafe may have to seek bankruptcy protection to continue operations. The company has several large loans outstanding as a result of their acquisitions of Hagen, Logic(Constellation) and M Data that are coming due.
The note holders, specifically Constellation Software($21.2M coming due), control the destiny of printCafe. The Constellation note specifies "Payment and performance of the Note is secured by a security interest in the intellectual property owned by the Company...." No software no company.
Multiple sources have confirmed that printCafe is desperately trying to raise money to pay off these notes to avoid the humilation of bankruptcy and to stay in business. Creo, who owns approximately 17% of printCafe, had been funding the company. However, Creo themselves are in financial trouble and can not afford to contiue throwing cash at a losing proposition. Creo's view of its investment in printCafe was made public in their Press Release on October 11th. In this press release, Creo indicated they had missed their financial numbers, in part, due to their write down of their investment in printCafe. With additional funding unlikely, the company is also soliciting offers to sell the company. They are desperately trying avoid the public embarrassment of a bankruptcy and zero return to their shareholders.
PrintCafe has been telling their employees that they will be profitable by next quarter. However, the profitability they claim is qualified that it is subject to EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest Taxes Depreciation Amortization). While on the surface this may look good, it does not adequately represent the weak financial condition of the company. The Interest part of the equation is significant and is bleeding printCafe's cash reserves dry. All of the notes printCafe issued to Hage, Logic and M Data have monthly and quarterly interest payment components. The interest rate on the notes range from 8-12%. Pursuant to information contained in their S-1 Public Filing, the total amount of these notes as $65.7 million. You can do the math.
Just the facts folks.....printCafe is in dire financial condition.
View the 1 reply to this comment Reply | Edit | Post a new comment
=====
arrow123
unregistered re: Mask - The sequal Oct 18 2001 06:11PM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey asshole, yeah you. Apparently you are both an idiot and a liar. While printCafe and Guttman may suck (I don't know those particulars), Proteus is a reasonably slick magazine makeup package. Like an earlier poster pointed out, the program doesn't aspire to quantum physics, but it does what it does reasonably well in a market that hasn't previously had that privilege. Unlike you, I actually have used the product. Unlike you, I know that the product is shrink-wrapped and CANNOT be "patched" by the customer. Why not take your idiotic blather back home to your mother. If you apologize for masturbating all over her house, she might just take you back. Rent in advance would help if you can spare any savings from your minimum wage job. You are clearly far too stupid to do anything but sling hash.
View original post | View the 2 replies to this comment Reply | Edit | Post a new comment
=====
sucky-me
unregistered re: Mask - The sequal Oct 19 2001 09:45AM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Usually when someone is this bitter it is hiding the fact that they actually agree with the post. Wow, aren't you the Proteus cheerleader! This is probably Bill "The Head" Guttman himself or one of his pitiful followers: his cunt wife, Frank "code fucker" Stock, Naomi "I need a clue" Novotny, Robert "give me a smoke" Barkley or perhaps even Marc "Boy did I get fucked buying nth Degree" Olin.
Too bad you are wrong but not only did we have to patch the program ourselves but I personally know of other customers who had to do the same. Just ask you ex-employee and former customer Margo what they had to do at her company.
As for the minimum-wage jibe, so what? Even if I was on minimum wage its more noble than lying to and stealing from all the VC and other companies which printCafe has. Your company has been nothing but a fraud from the beginning. That is why I never took you up on the "offer" to get free Proteus (and upgrades) for signing up for printCafe e-commerce. Why should I? To date not one magazine printer uses the printCafe e-commerce garbage.
You know in your heart what a bunch of liars, cheats and swindlers you all are. It is only a matter of time before you will not be able to operate as an on-going concern and will be forced to file for bankruptcy. That is perfect because now besides fucking your investors, employees, customers, partners and the media you can fuck all of your creditors as well. Complete circle-jerk! You bunch of pathetic assholes!
View original post | View the 1 reply to this comment Reply | Edit | Post a new comment
=====
sucky-me
unregistered re: PrintCafe may Seek Bankruptcy Protection Oct 19 2001 09:51AM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Great, it's about time somebody stuck a fork in this pig, 'cause it's done!
BTW, should printCafe fail to honor its payments to Constellation, they forfeit all IP to Constellation. That's ALL IP - the lame printCafe system but also Hagen, Loginc, PSI, Autocount, Print Smith, etc. You can't run a software company with no Intellectual Property.
Later!
=====
sucky-me
unregistered re: Mask - The sequal Oct 19 2001 09:55AM EST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One more thing Mr/Ms Guttman butt-licker. There is not a piece of shrink-wrapped software made which can not be "patched, fixed, improved, tampered-with, copied, pirated or otherwise fucked with". Any software developer can get into the code of ANY program and mess with it you moron. |
