Hi Lisa.. & everyone..
It's been awhile since I posted anything but I thought y'all might find this interesting.. ::grin::
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Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations
REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response
to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the
Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be
acquiring the federal government of the United States
of America for an undisclosed sum.
It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth
said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, It really is going
to be a positive arrangement for everyone.
Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval
office of the White House with U.S. President Bill
Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes
will be minimal. The United States will be managed as
a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public
offering is planned for July of next year, and the
federal government is expected to be profitable by
Q4 1999 at latest, according to Microsoft president
Steve Ballmer.
In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he
had willingly and enthusiastically accepted a position
as a vice president with Microsoft, and will continue
to manage the United States government, reporting
directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give
up the mantle f executive authority to Gates, Clinton
smiled and referred to it as a relief. He went on to say
that Gates has a proven track record, and that U.S.
citizens should offer Gates their full support and
confidence. Clinton will reportedly be earning several
times the $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S.
president, in his new role at Microsoft.
Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be
moved to Redmond as silly, though did say that he would
make executive decisions for the U.S. government from
his existing office at Microsoft headquarters. Gates
went on to say that the House and Senate would of course
be abolished. Microsoft isn't a democracy he observed,
and look how well we're doing.
When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada
was proceeding, Gates said, We don't deny that discussions
are taking place.
Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating
that United States citizens will be able to expect lower
taxes, increases in government services and discounts on
all Microsoft products.
About Microsoft
Founded in 1975, Microsoft (NASDAQ ) is the worldwide
leader in software for personal computers, and
democratic government. The company offers a wide range
of products and services for public, business and personal
use, each designed with the mission of making it easier
and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the
full power of personal computing and free society every day.
About the United States
Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most
successful nation in the history of the world, and has been
a beacon of democracy and opportunity for over 200 years.
Headquartered in Washington, D.C., the United States is a
wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft Corporation. |
