Darlene Holman *** (explains the meaning of life)
"I saw myself approach blackness at first, then this kind of light in the distance. First, I saw the edge of the light. I saw these souls neither young or old and I thought to myself, "How strange."
"I felt free and light as if I could do anything or go anywhere with just a thought. I felt weightless. The light that was all around me and a part of me would answer any thought I had. The light was all-encompassing in this place. It was alive. The light was knowledge and truth and love. It was everywhere. It was so white; but a different kind of white.
"I was made aware the light was God. ( I had always put God in the form of a man in my thoughts, so I found this very strange.)
"When I thought something, it was answered immediately almost at the same time. I could hear everything telepathically but I would feel the emotions as well and feel what the spirit I was talking to. Seeing was feeling as well.
"It was as if the answers were the simple and unapproachably known truth.
"I could feel it was the truth as well as know it. I kept feeling, "Oh yeah. I forgot about that." It was like I already knew these things but had forgotten some how.
"I saw these souls and they were waiting for their chance to come to earth to learn. I felt their desire to come to earth. It was overwhelming, very powerful, almost like a hunger to the soul. Then I felt how one of them felt when they were chosen and it was like winning the lottery only ten times greater. The elation I felt was so strong. There is not a word for it. The soul that was picked was extremely special because it had been chosen.
"It was explained to me that not all souls are chosen - [just a] precious few.
"It was explained to me that not all souls come to earth. Some stay there and learn. It takes them along time to learn like that though. So coming to earth is a gift.
Others come more then once and some just one time. This was hard for me to digest because, being Christian, I didn't believe in that. I don't attend church but I had a strong belief system and this went against everything I believed to be the truth.
"I watched and felt everything the soul did. From the perspective of the soul that was chosen to come to earth, the soul had to take a vow not to remember anything. And then it passed through this gray misty-looking curtain.
"I thought, "Why?"
"It was answered to me, "So that the soul could learn more effectively and faster."
"It was impressed upon me that this is the most and only important reason for us coming to earth - either learning or teaching. Most times both. All the bad things we go through here are either for our own learning or someone else's. I was shown a beggar on a street and how he was looked down upon by people on this earthly plain but in reality, he was a great teacher .
"We must believe in consequences (cause and effect) so that we could learn. We need to believe in the pain and hardship and suffering.
"How could we learn compassion if there was nothing to feel compassionate about?
"Some of what we souls down here consider the worst of us are actually teachers. A handicapped person is a very, very, high teacher. People who suffer greatly come down here to teach the rest of us.
Then I saw buildings and beautiful landscapes and I was in this place where everything is vibrant. There is not even a word for it. It was like everything we have here on earth is a washed out version of the truth of what it really is
"I was shown things such as who people actually were in heaven. I was told by these two spirits that I should be nicer to my husband, that he actually did not have to come back to earth. He was just doing me a favor.
"I saw all he was and who he was, but I can't remember all of it. They told me I would not be allowed to remember it because my learning would suffer if I did.
"Then this very important spirit in a robe with a file on me in his hand said, "Come with me."
"He took me to this room. It was all white and gray. He wanted an accounting of my actions. He showed me how I had been worrying too much and how worrying is a selfish emotion and a waste of time.
"I felt extreme shame for this. It was explained that joy and love are holy emotions and that hate, worry and depression are selfish emotions.
"By them being selfish emotions, I feel I need to explain. It's a bit better. People who are depressed can't help it. It is an inward thought. We have energy inside of us. Some of that energy is projected outwards and some of that energy is projected inwards and can drag us down and others around us. Depression is one of those emotions. That is a better way to describe what I was trying to describe when calling it a selfish emotion.
"Then the man in the robe said, "And of all things you are worried about was money."
"Then he showed me what money was in heaven. It's nothing at all. It does not exist and it's not real. The only thing that is like money up there is the unselfish things we do for others here without praise for our selves.
"Then he showed me what I should be doing and all the people lucky enough to come to earth. He raised his arm and a lighting bolt shot out. I became the lighting bolt and the lighting bolt was thousands of souls. I was effecting them and they were effecting me, touching me with learning, and I was doing the same to them.
"Then I woke up and I was standing over my husband kissing him on the forehead.
"One other thing I would like say real quick is that it was impressed upon me how religion and any one certain belief is not important because all religions have a place and any one person in that religion is on the path of learning that is important for that soul.
"Now if only everyone will stop and know they have abilities. We all do. We are just not conscious of the fact. When you do, things will change - change self and change the world around. We are responsible for self and inner growth to mature our spirits.
"When I awoke from this experience, everything was crystal clear except the part they said I would not be allowed to remember. I was also told things that did, in fact, came true.
"I am not sure what I think about religion anymore. I guess I feel like its kind of like "thoughts in a box." We create ourselves in a sort of a way or recipe for control.
"Since my NDE, I have experienced other things and I am not afraid of dying. I feel it's as natural as learning to walk." |
