SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Microcap & Penny Stocks : DGIV-A-HOLICS...FAMILY CHIT CHAT ONLY!!
DGIV 0.00Dec 5 4:00 PM EST
 Public ReplyPrvt ReplyMark as Last ReadFilePrevious 10Next 10PreviousNext  
To: E'Lane who wrote (39776)3/4/1999 7:32:00 PM
From: Midnightsun  Read Replies (2) of 50264
 
Any blond, church going rednecks out there, if so these might sound familiar. My apologies to E'lane......

You might be in a redneck church if . . .
> >
> > 1. The doors are never locked.
> > 2. The Call to Worship is ,"Y'all come on in!"
> > 3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
> > 4. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
> > the offering" -
> > and five guys stand up.
> > 5. The restroom is outside.
> > 6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an
> > official church
> > holiday.
> > 7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive
> > truck because, "I
> > ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of".
> > 8. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one
> > pledge of "two
> > calves."
> > 9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its
> > pastors had to buy any
> > meat or vegetables.
> > 10. When it rains, everybody's smiling.
> > 11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of
> > every worship
> > service.
> > 12. A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale."
> > 13. The church directory doesn't have last names.
> > 14. The pastor wears boots.
> > 15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship
> > every Sunday.
> > 16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot
> > is during the
> > summer and then only so their Neighbors can't leave them
> > a bag of
> > squash.
> > 17. There is no such thing as a "secret'' sin.
> > 18. Baptism is referred to as "branding.''
> > 19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
> > 20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
> > 21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock
> > that
> > afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring
> > about your health.
> > 22. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to
> > howling.
> > 23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two
> > fish were bass
> > or catfish.
> > 24. It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there.
> > 25. The final words, of the benediction are,
> > "Y'all come on back now, ya hear!"
> ..................................................................
Report TOU ViolationShare This Post
 Public ReplyPrvt ReplyMark as Last ReadFilePrevious 10Next 10PreviousNext  

HomeMailHotSubjectMarksPeopleMarksKeepersSettings
Terms Of UseContact UsCopyright/IP PolicyPrivacy PolicyAbout UsFAQAdvertise on SI
© 2026 Knight Sac Media.  Data provided by Twelve Data, Alpha Vantage, and CityFALCON News