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What part of my response did'nt you understand? The parts in Latin? Are you deliberatly trying to be like this? Once more: Call FBN at 1-800-NOTASCAM and ask Janice what the frequency is. Call the company and ask HER yourself or will the truth burst your negative bubble? What is your major malfunction?!
Check out the latest FBN news, this company is really going places, I just hope its without you and all your nega-hype shortie buddies!!!!
Friday October 17 9:14 AM EDT
Company Press Release
FBN Announces Merger with Infinite Productivity, Inc. in Stock Swap Valued at $600 Zillion
KING OF SLOTH, Pa., Oct. 17 /BSNewswire/ -- FBN Consulting announced today that it has reached a definitive agreement to merge with Infinite Productivity, Inc. (Nasdaq:ZZZZ) in a stock-for-stock transaction in which each share of Infinite common stock will be exchanged for an infinitesimal fraction of a share FBN common stock.
Infinite (IPI) develops, markets and supports software solutions for impacting productivity. The company, which was founded in 1996 by a couple of shiftless Gen-X'ers, aggressively targets global organizations that manage productive activities. The company's suite of off-the-shelf applications, which run on Windows NT and UNIX operating systems, are based on the open Infinite Loop Data Model and Zzz++ Class Library.
Jeff Mitchell, VP of R&D at FBN, stated, ''This merger will enhance FBN's position as the premier provider of productivity solutions for both the corporate and personal market segments. We think the added value to all our stakeholders from this transaction is incalculable. We are already in serious negotiations with innumerable major organizations who are about to sign countless contracts on an infinite delivery/infinite quantity basis. It is not entirely impossible that some of those contracts will be with us."
Added FBN CEO, TEDennis, "Er, yuh. Whatever."
Kurt Glum, 23, founder and chief executive officer of IPI, said of the proposed merger, ''We are delighted to be joining forces with the world's leading provider of productivity impact systems. FBN's strategy of paying top dollar for "best-of-breed" companies, combined with its plans to integrate IPI's technology and grant us options up the wazzoo, is very attractive to us. We look forward to working with FBN's development group, especially those hot-looking babes in the Algol department."
Statements about the pending acquisition of IPI, the Company's 1997 and 1998 outlook and all other statements in this release other than historical facts are forward-looking statements. Since these statements involve risks and uncertainties (including those relating to the possible inability to complete the acquisition as scheduled, or complete any work at all) and are subject to change at any time, the Company's actual results could differ materially from expected results. Assuming completion of the acquisition, such risks and uncertainties include risks that integration of the operations and products of the combining companies might not occur as anticipated. The Company derives most of its forward-looking statements from SWAG's by its CEO. While the Company believes that its assumptions are laughable, it cautions that there are inherent difficulties in predicting certain important factors, especially the timing and comic effect of press releases, the timing and scope of technological advances, the performance of recently created web pages, the prospects for future side-splitting press releases by competitors, and the overall condition of the fly-by-night industry. Whether or not the proposed merger closes, actual results, including the level of entertainment provided by both the Company and IPI may differ materially from historical results and those discussed in this press release. |
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