Carly Fiorina :(presenting herself to the naive electorate) :
Hey guys trust me .....I am a female white republican from California.....unlike the male black president from Illinois / Hawaii / Kenya, (sound bite - I am American, we now need a female American president, not a furrinner)
I was a senior marketing person at Lucent..... things did not work out, so I was almost kicked out...not my fault, u understand ?
So, I became the CEO of Hewlett-Packard (them schmucks hired me with lotsa your money - dumb shareholders)
Amongst my distinctive achievements :
- I acquired Compaq - a commodity business where there was no margin
- Better still – I got the NYSE to change my company’s ticker symbol from HWP to HPQ
(that put Hewlett & Packard to rest in peace, whilst I had the Q)
- Many jobs had to be shed due to my acquisition spree – maybe 50K jobs. But who’s counting ? Next months unemployment numbers would compensate....the bay area is dynamic....
Oh, later I got fired from HPQ - them SOBs fired me, but had to pay me mega-millions to move my ass...... serves them right - they paid (u paid) didnt y'all ?
With the money I got from y;all I decided to run for a CA state senator role - hey, like lucent and HPQ (NOT HWP) it didnt work out..... there are people that say I owe them wages - lets be clear - the campaign which flopped, owes them money, not me.
Trust me - I am the best person to be the President of the United States of America. If I could change HWP to HPQ, I can change USA to UFO.... |
