I am horrified that after a day away, I return and find that the thread has deteriorated to this. To find that you and Alexa have reduced the Coven to some sort of all-inclusive,
non-restrictive YWCA is bad enough. Our ascendancy to elitism was fought for with determination, and at great cost to our reputations, and now, having been troubled by a Beckettian Waiting for Godot personality change and infused with some sort of repulsive Everyman mentality in my absence, you have seen fit to sacrifice us, the Coven, that most inviolate of sisterhoods, and all that we represent. I had tried to create a place where the aristocratic among us could gather, free from the hoi polloi, where only the meaningless and insignificant topics that fascinate us would be discussed, and you have elevated it to talk of real life issues-cars! Guns! Lepers! Soul food! What of opera? Exotic cuisine? Small appliances? The things that mean nothing?
However, all that pales next to this most abject treachery-I weep as I type. The sharing of the Secret Sauce- Intolerable and unforgivable! How could you! It pains me to say this, but I must
assert myself and refuse to join you in this travesty. I will never reveal the secret of the last five ingredients-you may humiliate me, you may deride me, you may tie me and torture me. GAUGUIN may shoot me with his spudgun, Alex and Jeff may pun me to death, THomas may burn my lingerie, Janet may let small rodents tickle my tormented
body, (ooh-this is getting kinky), Michael may read aloud from profound magazines, Freddy may quote St. Augustine, and Mike and Zin may try to confuse me with extensive and complicated tales of Silicon Valley relationships, but I will not relent. Someone must take a stand for the upper classes and our right to a petty, socially
irrelevant and pretentious thread. If I stand alone, so be it.
(The theme from Gone With the Wind rises and penni is seen raising her bottle of Moet et Chandon skyward and declaring passionately, "As God is my witness, I will never be socially relevant again!" Fade and Blackout.) |
