Sherlock Holmes's sister, Ella, was a bit confused--not that she suffered from dementia or anything--she simply was a bit "blonde." She was always getting her two twins confused, even though they were fraternal, not identical, and everyone else could easily tell Patricia from Theresa.
One day Sherlock's sister invited the great detective and his assistant to a piano recital that Patsy was to give the following evening. When she left, Sherlock's assistant said, rather bewilderedly, to Sherlock, "I didn't know Patsy was studying the piano." To which Holmes replied,
"Ella meant Terry, my dear Watson.”
—
On their wedding night, the young bride Jodie approached her new husband Marvin and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In His highly aroused state, Marvin readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find Marvin in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that Cal Trans was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, Jodie handed him mutual fund statements which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and capital gains totaling nearly $2 million.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, she had put the money into the mutual fund.
The fund value had multiplied and these were the results of her investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $2 million, Marvin started crying.
Asked by his wife why he was crying and not ecstatic, he said,
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" |
