Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command Message Board

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Politics : Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command

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To: redfish who wrote (1022)	8/18/2004 11:36:42 AM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	of 27181

Fox News Calls Election for Bush! DATE LINE August 8th , 2004---Unconfirmed sources report that the Fox News Channel has called the November Presidential election for George W. Bush. Pre-election exit poll preliminary projections give Bush the victory by a 10% landslide. The Kerry/Edwards campaign, which had been leading in the polls, has been handed a stunning defeat. Republicans across the nation are celebrating while democrats are just wondering how could things have gone so wrong so quickly. The declaration of victory for Bush came early this morning when Fox News personal made the call form data that they had been analyzing for several days. “We couldn’t believe it.” Said one Fox New staffer. “We were just studying the data looking for trends and patterns in the upcoming vote when it hit us. Our numbers indicate that George W. Bush has already won the November election. Our data is rock solid and beyond question. Bush has won re-election.” Shocked democrats from across the nation are calling for an official review of the election results. They refuse to believe the results reported by the Fox New Channel. Some are even calling for a recount, but federal election officials are denying any recounts or access to any election records. Martha Weld, of Americas for a Fair Election, has filed a motion with the Supreme Court to question the results. “Something is fishy here. I don’t know what, but something just doesn’t feel right about the whole election. It feels like the election was just getting started and now its over. We have got examine the situation and find out what is going on.” John Moody, chief of FOX News, was not surprised by the democrats’ dismay. “It’s sad really. The democrats have lost the election and they just can’t believe it. They don’t want to believe that Bush ran a harder better race and won. We here at Fox News have studied the results and declared a winner. The democrats and the whole country really need to just get on with it. This is too important a time for our country to be divided by petty differences. We at Fox News are united with the re-elected president and we suggest that you join us.” The Kerry/Edwards campaign has been shocked into silence by the news and apparently is in turmoil. Our sources indicate that massive party has begun at the White House and that George W Bush is waiting to hear Kerry’s concession speech.

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