Best of the Web Today - March 18, 2005
By JAMES TARANTO
Global Warming Gobbledygook
Here's a Reuters dispatch that exemplifies why "global warming" is impossible to take seriously:
Even if people stopped pumping out carbon dioxide and other pollutants tomorrow, global warming would still get worse, two teams of researchers reported on Thursday. . . .
Virtually no one disagrees human activity is fueling global warming, and a global treaty signed in Kyoto, Japan, aims to reduce polluting emissions. But the world's biggest polluter, the United States, has withdrawn from the 1997 treaty, saying its provisions would hurt the U.S. economy.
Actually, lots of people disagree that "human activity is fueling global warming," but Reuters seems to view them as nonpersons. (By contrast, if you think Osama bin Laden is a "freedom fighter," you can count on Reuters' respect.)
In any case, the first paragraph quoted above refutes the second one. If there's nothing we can do to stop "global warming," how can we be causing it to begin with?
Boxer on the Constitution: End It, Don't Amend It
The far-left outfit MoveOn.org held a rally the other day in support of Democratic obstructionism, and among the senators who spoke was Angry Left heartthrob Barbara Boxer. Radioblogger.com has audio and a transcript of her defense of judicial filibusters, which is quite astonishing:
Why would we give lifetime appointments to people who earn up to $200,000 a year, with absolutely a great retirement system, and all the things all Americans wish for, with absolutely no check and balance except that one confirmation vote? So we're saying we think you ought to get nine votes over the 51 required. That isn't too much to ask for such a superimportant position. There ought to be a super vote. Don't you think so? It's the only check and balance on these people. They're in for life. They don't stand for election like we do, which is scary.
Now, maybe it's a good idea to require 60 votes to confirm a judge, though we don't seem to recall Boxer or any other Democrat suggesting it in 1993-94, when it would have allowed minority Republicans to block Clinton appointees. But the Constitution requires only a majority vote. If Boxer thinks a supermajority would be better, she should propose a constitutional amendment--one that would impose the rule for all time, not just when it's expedient for the Democrats.
Meanwhile, reader Brett Thorn has an intriguing interpretation of the Harry Reid speech we noted yesterday:
Reid believes the three branches of government are the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, and the liberal courts. He sees this as an attempt by one branch (Republicans) to usurp the powers of another (the liberal courts) and so sees himself and the Democrats as properly protecting the constitution. His speech really is saying this.
When I first had this thought, I believed he was being disingenuous. He didn't really believe these were the three branches of government; he was just spinning. But the more I considered it, if this truly is the understanding of the three branches of government that most Democrats have, it explains a great deal about their behavior for the last four years.
Eek! A Christian!
The inspiring story of Ashley Smith, the Georgia woman who talked murderer Brian Nichols into turning himself in to police, has Jill Porter in a cranky mood. Porter, a columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News, admires Smith but doesn't see why she had to bring religion into it:
The story of Ashley Smith . . . is a riveting tale of grace and humanity.
Would that it had remained just that.
Instead, it's become a testimonial for an evangelical Christian book and an endorsement of the theology embraced in the book--and that leaves me feeling alienated from what should be an inspiring tale of human transcendence. . . .
Suddenly, the near miracle that occurred in Smith's apartment because of her calm and compassion is infused with the rhetoric of Christian evangelism.
And suddenly, those of us who are wary of the increasing influence born-again Christians have on our political and cultural life feel a regrettable discomfort with this wonderful story. . . .
The universality of Smith's appeal is being compromised by the religious propaganda that seems to infuse the story more and more. . . .
But Ashley Smith ought to remain a hero to us all--and not be reduced to a shill for a book or a symbol of the righteousness of evangelical Christianity.
You just have to feel sorry for Jill Porter. Why should other people's religious beliefs threaten her so? Why can't secularists just live and let live and be comfortable with who they are?
Here's our advice to Porter: Watch "Trekkies," the hilarious 1997 documentary on "Star Trek" fans. The people depicted in this film are at least as fanatical as any born-again Christian, probably more so. They're total weirdos--and they're also sincere, well-intentioned, likable people. If Christians seem to you like scary aliens, just think of them as the theological equivalent of Trekkies. There's no reason they should be any scarier than the "Klingons" who chow down at Carl's Jr. in one scene form this delightful film.
What if They Held an Antiwar and Nobody Came?
Iraq's liberation began two years ago tomorrow, and the San Francisco Chronicle reports "antiwar" activists are having a hard time getting anyone to care:
The Rev. John Bennison scheduled a peace vigil Saturday in his small church in the Contra Costa town of Clayton because he hadn't heard of anything happening nearby to mark the second anniversary of the Iraq war.
There isn't much to hear about. The antiwar movement's failure to take root in the suburbs is one reason the movement is struggling to redefine itself and gain political power 2 1/2 years after hundreds of thousands of demonstrators took to city streets in the run-up to the U.S. invasion.
Antiwar leaders point to a number of reasons for the movement's lack of buzz outside politically "blue" communities. They get little support from the Democratic Party, which is far from unified on whether the United States should pull out of Iraq. Activists wish they had more online backing from MoveOn.org, the Internet hub that galvanized antiwar support in 2003 but has since taken up other issues.
And the White House has blunted criticism by pointing to recent democratic uprisings in the Middle East as evidence that the underpinnings for the U.S. invasion were on the mark.
The Chronicle notes that Bennison consciously decided not to call his "peace vigil" and "antiwar protest" in an effort to "depoliticize" it. This is quite a contrast from a year ago, when the antiwarriors and the Democrats were trying to politicize the war because they thought opposing it was a political winner.
High-Bias Leads
The Associated Press plans to offer its member newspapers "two different leads for many of its news stories," reports Editor & Publisher, the news industry trade magazine:
"The concept is simple: On major spot stories--especially when events happen early in the day--we will provide you with two versions to choose between," the AP said in an advisory to members. "One will be the traditional 'straight lead' that leads with the main facts of what took place. The other will be the 'optional,' an alternative approach that attempts to draw in the reader through imagery, narrative devices, perspective or other creative means."
The E&P piece concludes with these examples:
Traditional
MOSUL, Iraq (AP)--A suicide attacker set off a bomb that tore through a funeral tent jammed with Shiite mourners Thursday, splattering blood and body parts over rows of overturned white plastic chairs. The attack, which killed 47 and wounded more than 100, came as Shiite and Kurdish politicians in Baghdad said they overcame a major stumbling block to forming a new coalition government.
Optional
MOSUL, Iraq (AP)--Yet again, almost as if scripted, a day of hope for a new, democratic Iraq turned into a day of tears as a bloody insurgent attack undercut a political step forward.
On Thursday, just as Shiite and Kurdish politicians in Baghdad were telling reporters that they overcame a major stumbling block to forming a new coalition government, a suicide attacker set off a bomb that tore through a funeral tent jammed with Shiite mourners in the northern city of Mosul.
That "almost as if scripted" is a wonderful touch--a confirmation that many journalists have their own bad-news script in reporting on Iraq.
The Knives Are Out
"A top adviser to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton thinks fellow Democrat John Kerry "ran what was basically an inconsistent campaign" for president last year," reports the Associated Press:
The Kerry campaign had "a different message every two or three weeks," Ann Lewis, director of communications for Clinton's political action committee, told the Forward, a weekly New York City-based newspaper aimed at a Jewish audience.
Lewis is quoted as saying the Kerry campaign "kept trying to rationally convince, to put a presidency together, line by line, plan by plan."
She said people "don't vote for plans, they vote for presidents."
This looks like the first shot in the Clinton-Kerry battle for the 2008 presidential nomination. Republicans have to be hoping that Kerry, a proven loser, gets the nod again, but our guess is he'll be out of the running long before the Iowa caucuses. Hillary is a much tougher candidate in the primaries, and probably in the general election as well.
On a lighter note, the Irish Echo has this tidbit from a Washington charity benefit:
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton recounted how hard it had been to get interns installed in the White House while she was first lady through the Washington Ireland Program (an offshoot of Project Children that brings young adults to Washington).
Luckily they had the Washington Beverly Hills Program to fall back on.
What Does He Mean, 'Stay'?
"Wesley Clark told supporters Wednesday that he's launched a redesigned Web site for his political action committee and plans to 'stay at the forefront of the national debate.' "--Associated Press, March 16
Dispatch From the Porn Belt
In California (Kerry by 9.95%), the Assembly Public Safety Committee has voted down a bill that would have made it a misdemeanor to watch obscene movies in a car "on highways or public places where children might see it," reports the San Bernardino Sun:
Kat Sunlove, legislative affairs director for the Free Speech Coalition, a trade group for the adult entertainment industry, said the bill was too vague and did not define indecent material.
"This is absurd," she said. "Nothing would prevent law enforcement from stopping you if they said a minor might see it, whether a minor saw it or not."
This law may or may not be a good idea, but it's amusing to contemplate that the porn lobby actually carries influence in Sacramento.
Dispatch From the Prude Belt
In Texas (Bush by 22.87%), a lawmaker is proposing legislation that would outlaw "sexually suggestive" cheerleading at schools, the Associated Press reports. (Apparently the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders would be unaffected.) The bill, by Rep. Al Edwards, would withhold state funding from schools whose cheerleading is insufficiently demure:
J.M. Farias, owner of Austin Cheer Factory, said cheerleading aficionados would welcome the law. Cheering competitions, he said, penalize for suggestive movements or any vulgarity.
"Any coaches that are good won't put that in their routines," he said. And, most girls cheering on Friday nights were trained by professionals who know better, he said.
"I don't think this law would really shake the industry at all. In fact, it would give parents a better feeling, mostly dads and boyfriends, too," Farias said.
In Austin, we suppose, the boyfriend lobby trumps the porn lobby. You've gotta love those laboratories of democracy.
The World's Smallest Violin
Russell and Andrea Yates's divorce has been finalized, the Associated Press reports. You may remember that Mrs. Yates was convicted of triple murder in the drowning deaths of her five children, though the conviction was overturned and that decision is now on appeal. The violin is playing for Andrea, whose lawyer, John O'Sullivan, tells the AP that "she is mentally stable but 'forever scarred.' "
Noah Yates, John Yates, Paul Yates, Luke Yates and Mary Yates could not be reached for comment.
Where's the Supreme Court When You Need It?
You have to hand it to those antichoice fanatics; they're clever little devils. They pop up in the most unlikely places. Here's a passage from Davis v. Manchester Health Center, an employment-law decision (of all things!) in a Connecticut appeals court:
Forcing the plaintiff to choose between her own health and well-being and that of her unborn child, and her continued employment, especially in light of the substantial evidence of other available and suitable work stations, was patently unreasonable.
First of all, there's no such thing as an "unborn child"; the proper term is fetus. Second, a woman has the right to choose. Haven't these Connecticut judges ever read the U.S. Constitution? It's all in there, somewhere.
And Boy Was His Arm Tired
"Abortion: Howard Voted for 24 Weeks"--headline, Guardian (London), March 18
What Would We Do Without Ex-Maids?
"[Michael] Jackson Singled Out Young Boys, Ex-Maid Says"--headline, Reuters, March 18
Say What?
"Threat of Tin Whiskers Haunts Rush to Lead-Free"--headline, Electronic News, March 17
Hamburgers Over Charcoal Would Be Better
"Lawmakers Grill Baseball Over Steroid Use"--headline, Reuters, March 18
And We Thought They Were for Mourning Them
"Funerals are held for shooting victims"--subheadline, Chicago Tribune, March 18
You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman to Know How Long the Month Is
The Associated Press reports that "the snowy weather has taken a bit of a toll" on Connecticut's two casinos:
Officials with Foxwoods Resort Casino said that the casino cleared $67 million from its slot machine customers in February while Mohegan Sun cleared $68 million.
The slot revenues at both were down compared with last year.
In February 2004, Mohegan Sun reported slot machine revenues of nearly $69 million while Foxwoods reported revenue of $68.5 million.
That means revenues were down 2.2% at Foxwoods and 1.4% at Mohegan in February 2005 as compared with February 2004. But given that February 2005 was 3.4% shorter than February 2004, attributing this to the weather makes no sense.
We're Here! We're Queer! Baa!
An Associated Press dispatch from Oregon, where footballs drive and sheep practice the love that dares not bleat its name:
An Oregon State football had a stolen sheep in the bed of his pickup when he was pulled over for speeding last week, Benton County authorities said. . . .
The 200-pound ram lives at the university's Sheep Center, and is part of a study on homosexuality in sheep, said Sheep Center manager Tom Nichols.
"We have at least one prank a year where we have to go to a dormitory or a sorority house and pick up a ram or a lamb or a ewe," Nichols said. "It's one of those springtime pranks."
The "football," 20-year-old Ben Siegert, had a blood-alcohol level well over the legal limit, police say. But he insisted, "I'm from a city. I don't know anything about sheep." Hmm, he sounds awfully sheepish to us. |
