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LOYAL EMPLOYEES A VALUABLE ASSET,
SO NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO SELL THEM
Companies Can Get Top Dollar for Their Most Faithful Workers
Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - In an age when employees are
labeled 'human capital' and workplace longevity is measured in
months, some companies have finally begun to realize that a truly
loyal employee is a rare and valuable asset that should be
recognized, nurtured, and, ideally, sold to the highest bidder.
"Your truly devoted employee, one who honestly believes in his or
her company and is faithful to its mission and its products, is
an absolute gem, impossible to find," explained Ken Chesley,
human resources director for CitiGroup. "That's why they're so
easy to sell. Companies are yearning for employees like that."
While many firms have long nurtured their staffs in an effort to
increase loyalty, the revelation that these employees themselves
were a cash cow is credited to Hewlett-Packard, a company well
known for low turnover and an allegiant workforce.
"There was this guy in my department named Stan who had been with
the company for almost 15 years," said HP executive Margaret
Carter. "Day in and day out, he did everything we asked, never
complained, and was viciously loyal to our products."
"So one night, after Stan stayed up for 24 hours finishing a
project, I had an epiphany: 'This guy is worth his weight in
gold. I bet I could sell him and make a killing.'"
Carter phoned a few recruiter friends, as well as a pair of human
resource directors she knew. Within five hours, she had three
bids. "It was a remarkably easy sale," she said. "These other
companies were just like us. They had very few loyal employees
left. So when they heard they could get someone as loyal as Stan,
they jumped."
Hewlett-Packard, meanwhile, was no less impressed, and offered
Carter a job as head of the new Human Capital Asset Sales
division. In the past nine months, she has sold no fewer than 62
loyal employees, earning the company $7.75 million; an average of
$125,000 per worker.
"Some of our most loyal people I've gotten mid six figures for,
but those are the real keepers," she said.
But is it possible that companies would be better served by
keeping their most loyal people?
"It's funny, but one of our workers made that point not too long
ago," Carter recalled. "He said devoted employees represent all
that's good and true and wonderful about HP, and insisted we
should keep them for the good of the company."
"I think I got $250,000 for that guy," she added.
Despite its popularity, the practice has not been universally
successful. Last month, Pixar Animation Studios was forced to
refund nearly $2.2 million to Home Depot, which had bought the
highly dedicated animation team from Pixar's Toy Story 2.
"Pixar told us those people were incredibly loyal, but it only
took a couple of days to figure out they didn't give a damn about
Home Depot," said Kathy Lazerri, marketing vice president for the
Atlanta-based building supply chain.
Pixar returned the money and rehired the employees, but is now
suing. "Before we sold those people, they were among our most
loyal staffers, but now they're back and suddenly they're not
loyal to us at all," said Pixar CEO Steve Jobs. "I want to know
what the hell Home Depot did to them."
Despite Pixar's experience, human resource experts doubt the
trend will slow anytime soon, arguing the practice finally
enables firms to measure the 'capital' in 'human capital.'
"The true value of a loyal employee has always been abstract; you
could never put an actual number on it," said CitiGroup's
Chesley. "But now you can. It's somewhere between $75,000 and
$300,000."
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