friday funnies...
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.When it was time to take the children to the bathroom. It was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one - holding onto their johnson to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said You must be in the 5th. No ma'am he replied, I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the 4th but thanks for the lift.
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine the other is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout. The cashier asks, Oh these must be for your mom, huh? The nine-year-old replies, Nope, not for my mom. The cashier responds, Well they must be for your sister then? The nine year old says, Nope not for my sister either. By this time, the cashier was curious. Oh Well, if they're not for your mom and they're not for your sister who are they for? The nine year old says, They're for my four-year-old little brother. The cashier is surprised. Your four-year-old little brother? So the nine year old explains, Well yeah they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!
-------------------------------------
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. Isaac Asimov
yur birthday 6/30...
1917 - Lena Horne, singer
1966 - Mike Tyson boxer, youngest heavyweight champion 20 years + 144 days
happenings...
1841 - The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train on this day.
1908 - One of the most powerful, natural explosions in recorded history occurred at 7:17 a.m. The site was the Tunguska section of Central Siberia.
1936 - Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind", was published in New York City.
1953 - The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in Flint, MI. That early ’Vette sold for $3,250.
1994 - The temperature at Death Valley, California reached 128 degrees (Fahrenheit).
1997 - As the clock struck midnight, Red China reclaimed Hong Kong from Great Britain and the British Crown’s 156-year colonial rule came to an end.
7/01 births...
1899 - Charles Laughton Academy Award-winning actor, Mutiny on the Bounty, The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
1908 - Estee Lauder cosmetics mogul
1936 - Jamie Farr,Jameel Joseph Farahactor, M*A*S*H , Gong Show
1941 - Rod Gilbert, hockey, NHL Hall-of-Famer, NY Rangers all-time scoring leader
1952 - Dan Aykroyd
1961 - Princess Diana [Spencer] Princess of Wales; killed in car crash in Paris, France, August 31, 1997
1967 - Pamela Anderson, actress, Baywatch
on this day in...
1847 - The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale. Ben Franklin graced the nickel stamp while George Washington was pictured on the ten-cent stamp.
1862 - To help pay for the Civil War, the U.S. Congress established the Bureau of Internal Revenue on this day. President Abraham Lincoln signed the bill into law, making it possible for the feds to collect a three percent tax on incomes ranging from $600 to $10,000, and five percent on incomes over $10,000.
1874 - The first zoo in the United States opened in Philadelphia.
1935 - Benny Goodman and his band recorded the "King Porter Stomp" for Victor Records
1951 - Bob Feller set a baseball record as he pitched his third no-hitter for the Cleveland Indians
1967 - Scott McKenzie scored his first hit with the single, "San Francisco Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair".
born today 7/02...
1929 - Imelda Marcos, widow of exiled Philippines leader, Ferdinand Marcos; was famous for her collection of hundreds of pairs of shoes.
1932 - Dave Thomas, fast-food founder, Wendy’s
1937 - Richard Petty, auto racer, 7-time winner of the Daytona 500
1957 - Bret Hart, pro wrestler/actor, WWF Superstars of Wrestling...
in the past...
1850 - The gas mask was patented, invention of B.J. Lane of Cambridge, MA.
1921 - Jack Dempsey, boxer, knocked out George Carpentier in the fourth round of the bout in Jersey City, NJ.
1946 - CBS signed the Old Redhead, Arthur Godfrey to do a weekly nighttime radio show
1955 - ABC Television premiered "The Lawrence Welk Show".
1997 - "Men in Black" [movie] opened in the U.S. It’s a fun-filled sci-fi tale about a secret organization that’s been keeping track of extra-terrestrial aliens on Earth for over 40 years.
week in music 7/02/1983...
Flashdance...What a Feeling - Irene Cara
Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant
Every Breath You Take - The Police
Love is on a Roll - Don Williams
birthday suits 7/03...
1878 - George M (Michael) Cohan, actor, singer, composer: subject of movie: Yankee Doodle Dandy, James Cagney...great flick
1930 - Pete Fountain, clarinetist, New Orleans jazz great
1962 - Tom Cruise actor, Mission: Impossible
old news...
1890 - The Spud State, the Potato State, the Gem State are all synonymous with Idaho, which entered the United States of America on this day.
1940 - The legendary comedy team of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted with their network radio show on NBC. [who's on first?]
hit songs 7/03/1968
This Guy’s in Love with You - Herb Alpert
The Horse - Cliff Nobles & Co.
Angel of the Morning - Merrilee Rush & The Turnabouts
D-I-V-O-R-C-E - Tammy Wynette
birthday 7/04...
1826 - Stephen Foster (song writer of about 200 songs including: Oh! Susannah, Camptown Races, Old Folks at Home [Swanee River], Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair
1883 - Rube (Reuben Lucius) Goldberg, inventor of elaborate, involved contraptions that accomplish simple tasks; cartoonist
1918 - Ann Landers (Esther Pauline Friedman) (advice columnist; twin sister of Abigail Van Buren)
1930 - George Steinbrenner, shipping magnate, baseball team owner, New York Yankees
day in history...
1776 - Americans celebrate their independence from the British on this day. July 4th commemorates the approval of the "Declaration of Independence".
1886 - The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, Arizona
1939 - Lou Gehrig retired from baseball in a touching ceremony at Yankee Stadium in New York City
1970 - Casey Kasem hosted radio’s "American Top 40" for the first time this day.
1987 - Martina Navratilova captured her sixth consecutive Wimbledon singles title.
music chart 7/04/1961
Quarter to Three - U.S. Bonds
Raindrops - Dee Clark
Tossin’ and Turnin’ - Bobby Lewis
Hello Walls - Faron Young
and finally...
a year older 7/05...
1944 - Robbie (Jamie) Robertson, composer, guitarist groupknown as The Band: Up on Cripple Creek, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.
1951 - Huey Lewis (Cregg) singer for Huey Lewis and the News.
events...
1865 - William Booth formed the internationally acclaimed Salvation Army in London, England. The Army has units in over 80 countries.
1934 - "Love in Bloom", sung by Bing Crosby with Irving Aaronson’s orchestra, was recorded for Brunswick Records in Los Angeles. The song was fairly popular, but became a much bigger success when comedian Jack Benny made it a popular standard.
1954 - Elvis Presley recorded "That’s All Right (Mama)" and "Blue Moon of Kentucky". It was his first session for Sam Phillips and Sun Records in Memphis, TN.
1969 - Rod Laver became the first man to win four Wimbledon tennis titles
toe tappers - July 5, 1946
They Say It’s Wonderful - Frank Sinatra
The Gypsy - The Ink Spots
All Through the Day - Perry Como
New Spanish Two Step - Bob Wills
make it a great weekend...
good fortune ...
pops
Copyright Stock Den Digest© 2002 |
