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Politics : I Will Continue to Continue, to Pretend....

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To: Sully- who wrote (10857)6/14/2005 2:00:21 AM
From: Sully-   of 35834
 
Rumsfeld: Move U.N. to Guantanamo

Satire from ScrappleFace
by Scott Ott

(2005-06-13) -- On the day that a bipartisan U.S. commission reported that the United Nations is stuck in a quagmire of mismanagement, corruption and 'dismal' staff morale, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld suggested moving the headquarters of the global organization to the U.S. Naval Station at Guantanamo Bay.

Mr. Rumsfeld's remarks follow calls from legislators to shut down the detention center known as 'Gitmo' because it has become a public relations embarrassment in the wake of reports that suspected terrorists were made extremely uncomfortable during interrogations.

The panel probing the U.N. found that the organization has failed to stop genocide, mass killing and major human rights violations.

"Even if you believe Amnesty International's outrageous claims," said Mr. Rumsfeld, "It would be, ethically speaking, a big step up for Kofi Annan to associate himself with the name Gitmo."

The defense secretary said that if Mr. Annan accepts his proposal, the U.S. would throw in several thousand free copies of the Koran as a "signing bonus."

scrappleface.com
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