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Politics : THE STARR REPORT
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To: Lizzie Tudor who wrote (1138)9/17/1998 6:48:00 PM
From: The Philosopher  Read Replies (2) of 1533
 
Actually, I could be an editor for Salon. My first story would be that Bubba was actually doing his sworn duty in his relationship with Monica. The CIA had identified her, as is noted in the Chinese press, as a KGB spy. Clinton was trying to worm out of her the details of her assignment. At one point it was feared that she was on a suicide mission and had an explosive device hidden in her privates, so the CIA rigged up a cigar with a tiny camera and chemical explosives sensor and had Clinton insert it to attempt to verify the theory. Clinton was obligated to lie because it is a federal offense for someone working for the CIA to reveal any details of their assignment, and because of his position Clinton was obligated to answer questions under oath. Faced with a choice of perjury or violating CIA secrecy, he made the personal sacrifice of his integrity and accepted personal scorn all in the interests of protecting national secrets. <Stirring martial music in background>

Clinton is shown to be a true patriot, and man willing to risk his honor, which as we all know is even more valuable than life itself, in the interests of serving his nation. <Martial music fades into Hail to the Chief as a waving flag and fireworks fill the screen.>

Remember, Salon had this story even before Drudge!
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