Trump at Gettysburg:
Four thousand and seven years ago, my father, who was a great man, one of the greatest men in history, he was born in Germany; he went into the real estate business. You have to be really, really smart to get into the real estate business. I inherited his smarts, and I got into the real estate business too. I have the best real estate. Everyone loves my real estate. But now we are engaged in a great civil war. The greatest civil war. Why are we engaged in it? Because my predecessor, President Bookananin, was a bad deal maker. If I had been President then, we wouldn’t have had a war because I would have made a deal, the best deal. I am the best deal maker ever. It’s true. If I had been President, I’d have made such a good deal that the North would be happy, the South would have been happy, the slaves would have been very happy; they would have been the happiest slaves you have ever seen. Just smiling and singing and picking cotton. Such happy slaves. But now we are here to bury the dead. But what we say here cannot honor them. Because they don’t deserve to be honored! I like soldiers who are so good that they don’t get shot. What good is a dead soldier? Dead soldiers can’t soldier any more because they are dead. All soldiers who die are just losers. If I had been a soldier, I would have survived, I guarantee it. Now let’s go play some golf! |
