Janice, why don't you tell them of your proclivity to human blood drinking, but also assure them you stop short of satanism, in fact, you don't even "believe" in one. Oh, I'll bet now you will assure me you were just kidding and how could I take it seriously. Well, sorry, I did, call me dumb, I guess.
Now, Jane, I suspect you're just trying to hurt my feelings. OF COURSE I'm a vampiress. But I don't only drink human blood (tonight I had a pizza and red wine, for example, but then... well, pretty symbolic, no?), I really DO tend to hold out for that of young virgins of either sex. As I've explained so many times before.
It is, naturally, extremely easy for the modern vampire to come by a nearly constant supply of this stuff, especially in small-town America. Just dial 1-800-REDCELL!
Now what about that special salad dressing? |
