Best of the Web Today - June 28, 2005
By JAMES TARANTO
Iraq's No Quagmire, Kerry Admits
The president of the United States is speaking on Iraq this evening at Fort Bragg, N.C., and some dude called John Kerry*, who is not president, showed up on the op-ed page of the New York Times this morning to tell the president what to say. Which just goes to prove, the average voter is smarter than the editors of the New York Times op-ed page.
Let's start with what we like about the Kerry piece, which is the penultimate sentence:
If Mr. Bush fails to take these steps, we will stumble along, our troops at greater risk, casualties rising, costs rising, the patience of the American people wearing thin, and the specter of quagmire staring us in the face
This is not a graceful piece of writing, but what do you expect from a C student? Still, give Kerry credit for acknowledging that the "quagmire" is a mere "specter"--i.e., a figment of the imagination. Kerry first rose to political prominence as an advocate of U.S. defeat in Vietnam, and we're glad to see that, unlike some of his fellow Democratic senators, he acknowledges Iraq is not Vietnam redux.
Still, anyone who wants America to win in Iraq should be glad Kerry lost last year's election, for although he talks of wanting victory, it sounds as though he's more eager to get out. He says "the president must . . . announce immediately that the United States will not have a permanent military presence in Iraq," and he seems to wants the U.S. to threaten to cut and run more quickly:
[Bush] should also say that the United States will insist that the Iraqis establish a truly inclusive political process and meet the deadlines for finishing the Constitution and holding elections in December. We're doing our part: our huge military presence stands between the Iraqi people and chaos, and our special forces protect Iraqi leaders. The Iraqis must now do theirs.
In his most ridiculous statement, Kerry lectures the president that "a little humility would go a long way." Just the other day Kerry was whining about Karl Rove's faulting liberals for urging "moderation and restraint" in responding to terrorism. Now we guess it's "moderation, restraint and humility." Though come to think of it, has John Kerry ever displayed any humility in his entire life?
* The haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam.
Is Iraq Vietnam? Ask Those Who Know.
That Iraq is "another Vietnam" was a cliché long before the U.S.-led coalition even liberated Baghdad, but lately the drumbeat has become louder and more tired than ever. A Google News search for "Iraq" and "Vietnam" turns up more than 6,500 articles in the past month; this piece from Bloomberg News is typical:
An unreliable ally in a U.S.-led war against guerrillas, declining public support at home and lack of a coherent exit strategy: That was Vietnam 35 years ago, and it increasingly seems to fit Iraq today.
Is Iraq really similar to Vietnam? Only in the sense that some in politics and the media would like to see America lose. That is to say, much of the Vietnam talk we've been hearing is wishful thinking. As Andrew Sullivan wrote in July 2003:
There's an under-current of complete gloom in news reports that seems to me to be more fueled by ideological fervor than sober analysis. Given the magnitude and complexity of the task of rebuilding post-Saddam Iraq, it seems to me we're making slow but decent progress. The lack of a complete social implosion or exploding civil war is itself a huge achievement. And no one said the post-war reconstruction was going to be easy.
So what's behind this drumbeat of apocalypse? I think it's a good rule among boomer journalists that every story they ever edit or write or film about warfare will at some point be squeezed into a Vietnam prism.
But here's one honorable exception. Last week USA Today asked people who would actually know if Iraq is "another Vietnam": Vietnam veterans now serving in Iraq:
If there are parallels between Iraq and Vietnam, these graying soldiers and the other Vietnam veterans serving here offer a unique perspective. They say they are more optimistic this time: They see a clearer mission than in Vietnam, a more supportive public back home and an Iraqi population that seems to be growing friendlier toward Americans.
"In Vietnam, I don't think the local population ever understood that we were just there to help them," says Chief Warrant Officer James Miles, 57, of Sioux Falls, S.D., who flew UH-1H Hueys in Vietnam from February 1969 to February 1970. And the Vietcong and North Vietnamese were a tougher, more tenacious enemy, he says. Instead of setting off bombs outside the base, they'd be inside.
"I knew we were going to lose Vietnam the day I walked off the plane," says Miles, who returned home this month after nearly a year in Iraq. Not this time. "There's no doubt in my mind that this was the right thing to do," he says. . . .
1st Sgt. Patrick Olechny, 52, of Marydel, Del., an attack helicopter crew chief and door gunner in Vietnam from March 1971 to February 1972, says the most important difference to him is the attitude of the American public.
"Vietnam was an entirely different war than this one," he says. The basic job of flying helicopters is the same, but the overall mission now is clear when it wasn't then. "We thought in Vietnam we were doing the right thing, and in the end it didn't seem that way," he says.
Now, "the people in the United States respect what the soldiers are doing," says Olechny, who still fills in at the door gunner position when he can get away from his administrative duties.
Browning, recently back from two weeks of R&R in the USA, says he was overwhelmed by the reception he got stateside: More than a hundred people met the airplane to help the soldiers and wish them well. "I can't tell you what, as a Vietnam vet, that means to me," he said.
What mystifies us is why some politicians think defeatism is a winning political strategy. That didn't work last year, and it didn't work even during Vietnam.
But He's a War Hero!
"Ninety percent of people in the market say that people who buy SUVs should not be called patriotic," reports the Internet Broadcasting System. How dare they question John Kerry's patriotism?
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Our item yesterday on Democratic complaints about Karl Rove's recent speech, coupled with our recent commentary about Dick Durbin's likening U.S. troops to Nazis, brought this very insightful comment from reader Roger Hutchinson:
In politics, it is proper for Republicans to insult Democrats or for conservatives to insult liberals. Politicians can insult other politicians. That's politics. It is not proper for a politician to insult a nonpolitician. Thus a politician cannot insult a member of the armed forces, as Durbin did. Someone needs to explain the nuances of the game of politics to Democrats.
It might help to use this example. In a football game, the big burly defensive lineman can insult the offensive guard by saying, "Your mother wears combat boots." Both men know that neither one of them really knows what the mother wears, and it doesn't matter because it's not about the mother or what she wears. It's about football. However, if that same defensive lineman sees that offensive lineman at a restaurant eating dinner with his mother, it would be an insult for him to go up and say, "Your mother wears combat boots."
Applying this to Durbin, he could have said to Bill Frist, "Your mother wears combat boots, and the president runs Gitmo like a gulag," because everyone knows that it has nothing to do with anyone's mother. It was not proper for him to go up to a member of the armed forces and say, "You wear combat boots and run Gitmo like a gulag." That's an insult. Maybe someone can straighten the Democrats out.
'No More Mr. Nice Guy'
Boston Globe columnist Brian McGrory reports Sen. Ted Kennedy is trying to dispel the idea that running against him is a good career move for Republicans:
The rationale is as follows: The affable Kennedy tends to run gentlemanly campaigns against his invariably inexperienced opponents; the Republican candidate runs and loses in a mutually respectful race; a couple of years later, the defeated Republican uses the positive publicity generated during the Kennedy campaign to win a different statewide office. . . .
Now comes Kennedy to profoundly disagree. In fact, he was on the phone last week from Washington to essentially say that the nice-guy campaigns of yesteryear are just that: history. Anyone who runs against him for the rest of his career runs at his or her own peril.
''Historically, what I've always tried to do is run for the office, not against someone," he said, an acknowledgement of what's gone on before.
Then he delivered this barely veiled threat: ''This is a difficult and challenging profession. No one should come to it lightly. As it should be. People have to be held accountable, professionally, and the public is looking at it in terms of private lives, as well. Everything is fair game."
Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.
He Prides Himself on His Humility--II
"Because Jefferson was a humble person, I feel a kinship with him."--Jimmy Carter, Time.com, June 29, 2004
"In Lincoln's rise from poverty, his ultimate mastery of language and law, his capacity to overcome personal loss and remain determined in the face of repeated defeat--in all this, he reminded me not just of my own struggles."--Sen. Barack Obama, Time, July 4, 2005, issue
(Hat tip: Mickey Kaus.)
Great Moments in Public Education
A local school official, assistant superintendent Isben Jeudy of East Northport, N.Y., is charged with "official misconduct" for allegedly helping his son cheat on a Regents examination, the New York Times reports:
Investigators said suspicions arose shortly after 9 a.m. last Tuesday when a proctor for the global history and geography exam at John Glenn High School in the Elwood district saw blue writing on the hand of a student, Jerrell Jeudy, 16. Elwood officials then opened their official copy of the answers and found that they matched the youth's notes for about 35 multiple-choice questions.
Aware that the youth's father worked in the Jericho district, the Elwood officials immediately notified the State Education Department. At about 9:45 a.m., the state, in turn, alerted the Jericho superintendent, Henry Grishman, who called in Mr. Jeudy and others to open a locked box holding Jericho's answer sheets, which were supposed to be bound in plastic shrink wrap for security.
What would make a father think he is doing his son a service by helping him cheat on tests? After all, if he fakes his way through high school, he may one day find himself unprepared for college. And college has its challenges, as this Fox News story makes clear:
An East Texas college student finally learned why she'd gained weight and was having abdominal pain--she was about to give birth.
Annie Cohen was three days shy of 19 on the morning of June 16 when, after a night of tossing and turning, she walked out into her yard to try to catch some winks in her neighbor's swing seat.
"I had been having pains for about a week," the Marshall, Texas, woman told The News-Journal of neighboring Longview. "I thought maybe it was the bed, so I went outside to lay [sic] in the swing."
She didn't even make it that far. Instead, Cohen, already the mother of a 3-year-old, figured out she was in labor and grabbed the pole of her own swing set.
We don't know, but this story certainly makes us suspect that Annie Cohen cheated on the final in her high school health class.
What Would Shark-Phobes Do Without Experts?
"Experts to Shark-Phobes: Attack on Girl Not a Trend"--headline, Tampa Tribune, June 27
"Second Shark Attack in Three Days off Florida's Panhandle"--headline, Associated Press, June 27
"Shark Experts Agree: Attacks in Summer Are Normal"--headline, Associated Press, June 28
You Don't Say
"Lightning Strike Unexpected, Deadly"--headline, Chicago Tribune, June 28
Tasteless Pun Alert
"Wal-Mart heir John T. Walton, who died in the crash of his experimental, ultralight aircraft, was remembered as a down-to-earth man who threw his considerable financial support behind efforts to educate low-income children."--Associated Press, June 28
He's Not Still Dead Anymore?
"Franco Still Going Strong for Braves"--headline, Associated Press, June 28
You're the Tops
Several readers wrote to ask where to get one of those "I'd Rather Be Monkeyfishing" trucker hats like the one we wore in the picture accompanying an item yesterday. They're available here, along with shirts, mugs and aprons bearing the same slogan. These are not official OpinionJournal merchandise, so this item does not constitute an endorsement. We will be introducing our own line of shirts and mugs in the coming months.
Puff Piece
Here's an interesting little human-interest story from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:
The front page of the old Wisconsin News on July 14, 1933, is dominated by three large photos showing Hubert Albert smoking his little brains out.
It was newsworthy because he was 5 years old at the time. The accompanying article says the Milwaukee boy started puffing at the age of 20 months--cigarettes, cigars, pipes, you name it. "He's not 6 years old yet, but he knows how to smoke--anything," the headline says.
Sally Wasinack found the old paper under the floorboards while renovating her house, and she decided to track down Hubert Albert. Turns out he's still alive: "He has two new knees and a patched-up back, and he survived two aneurysms. 'Otherwise, I'm healthy as a pig,' he said."
He did give up smoking while he was 10, but started again six years later when he joined the Merchant Marines. He explains how he took up the habit:
His uncles would come over to his house on N. 12th St., and he began finishing their cigarettes once they burned down close to the butt. "In those days, no one worried about cancer," he said.
Word got around, and pretty soon everyone was offering him cigarettes. By about age 9, he was rolling his own. He received a pipe as a gift from a doctor the family knew. He still has it.
We guess we don't approve of 5-year-olds smoking, but we're almost 40 and we can't even smoke a nice healthy cigar in a bar with other adults. Reading about Hubert Albert does make us long for a more innocent time. |
