Betsy's Page
Shrinkwrapped, a practicing psychiatrist, explains some of the reasons why the terribly popular self-esteem curriculumn is so damaging to children.
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The person with reasonably healthy self-esteem enhances his self-esteem (feels good about himself) when he accomplishes difficult tasks, or pleases his loved ones, or succeeds in a quest; enhanced self-esteem is based on real accomplishments. Those whose self-esteem is less well developed rely on, indeed require, the external world to constantly feed their need for approval. Thus, telling a damaged child that 2+2=5 is "terrific work" is not only ridiculous but does nothing to help the child develop a more realistic appreciation of their own strengths and abilities. If anything, it encourages the child to learn to never trust his teachers, who can so obviously be cowed into giving "A's" whether deserved or not (grade inflation is endemic throughout our educational system) and in the worst case scenario, that those who "dis" you are fair game for assault, whether on a personal "street" level or by more sophisticated assaults through the legal system.
Until our educational system rediscovers that its mission is to educate kids, not make then feel better, we will end up with an uneducated populace who think they are more competent than they actually are. And that is a prescription for social disaster.
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Exactly.
This is college application time for seniors and I've been talking with some students as they ask me to write recommendations for them. When I talk to them about what was most valuable for them in their high school career, they almost all refer to some difficult class that they had to work harder at and so feel a special pride for having persevered and achieved something that was difficult for them. That's the healthy way to develop self-esteem, not by praising them for every little thing that they do.
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