more OT.
The following are the top four winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the
"New Woman Magazine".
1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up
energy and ran amuk. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now", she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with
my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was
screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson; Stafford,Virginia.
2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents
had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested
to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to
miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing
there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what
seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again. Tim Cahill;
Poughkeepsie, New York
3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've
come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items
at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her
items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the
intercom and boomed out
for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX,
SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a
voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH
IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER
???"
4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around,
scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going
on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised
and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he was to
phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and he returned to
the classroom, where he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the
back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with
his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he
said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up
from school..." |
