Romney’s concession speech
By Tom Toles
Everybody is saying that the race is tightening, or dead even or toss-up, or that the momentum is all Romney’s, but I’m sorry, I’m not buying it. Maybe it’s true, November 7th is soon enough to adjust my position, if necessary. Around here, Obama has already been re-elected, and we’re comfortable with that.
Obama won the debates. All of them. Yes even the first one. His “performance” may have been excessively “coma-like” but there was Romney proposing a completely nonsensical budget. Now tell me how you can propose something that is completely nonsensical, and be declared the “winner.” If that’s true, debates are meaningless and why do we have them at all then? Good question! If they were as important as everybody said, Obama won most of them by anybody’s count, and so should be re-elected. And here in this Blog, he already has been. So I’m going to jump ahead one more step and write a brief Romney concession speech.
“My fellow, Americans, it has been a hard-fought campaign, but the people have spoken, and we shall go forward together as one nation under our re-elected president. I guess some of the things I said about him aren’t really true, like how ALL his policies were wrong, including the ones I agreed with. And yes I eagerly climbed atop a party that has tried for four years to de-legitimize a sitting president with a collection of tactics and fabrications and I was only to happy to ride it. Suffice it to say that my position now has changed, again, to ‘never mind’. Let’s support the president, NOW. Yes I helped to widen the terrible political chasm that has opened in this country. Damage done. But I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because that would be an apology tour.” |
