Margaret & Helen
Mitt without a war is like a Kardashian without a sex tape… Not gonna happen
HELEN:
Margaret, I watched the debate and then I went to bed comforted by the fact that Barack Obama would be President for four more years. I dreamt of a Supreme Court that actually believes all Americans are created equal and corporations are entities not people. In my dream, we looked for ways to increase voter turnout and not suppress it. And then I woke up and made the mistake of turning on cable news. Evidently Obama had won the debate, but Romney had proven himself presidential. Really? The guy with the sweaty upper lip and the mood swings that matched his policy swings? That guy was presidential? Did anybody actually watch the debate with the sound on?
You could almost hear Romney’s heart break when he announced that we can’t “kill our way out of this”. As badly as he wants to start a few, there would be no wars for Romney. And a Republican without a war is like Sarah Palin without her early pregnancy test strip – a little scared and a lot in denial. It was hard for him, but even Romney realized that a debate about foreign policy really should focus at least a little bit on diplomacy and world peace. His fight with Russia, Iran, China, Egypt, Syria, and some place called Mali would all have to wait until after he got elected. Bush spoiled America’s appetite for preemptive wars and Romney looked like he was about to cry. In an attempt to mislead undecided voters, he even had to give up on his desire for a continued war in Afghanistan. Bless his heart, he had held on to that one until the bitter end.
Romney has been campaigning to become President for seven years. In that time, we have learned very little about the man except that he is damn good at telling people what they want to hear. He governed in Massachusetts, but even they don’t want him anymore. In this last debate, he finally admitted that people wanted to hear the truth. And the truth of the matter is, Romney thinks Obama really isn’t that bad. Yes, Mr. Romney, you weren’t going to be able to lie your way out of this one.
I’ve grown tired of pointing out that Romney is a liar. It took me awhile to put pen to paper on this one because I really didn’t want to just make another list of all his lies and flip-flops. Eventually I decided to go the other way – the truth about Obama. Here is why I am voting for a second term for Barack Obama. Pay attention because if you have been watching Fox News and buying the Republican bullshit you might not know some of this…
•The federal government has gotten smaller, not bigger, under President Barack Obama. We now have fewer federal employees than we did in 2009.
•Government spending under President Obama has been smaller than the previous nine presidents. That goes back all the way to Eisenhower, and I am pretty sure all of the savings haven’t come from a smaller navy. Those aircraft carriers are pretty damn expensive.
•Obama’s healthcare plan will save money and provide insurance for more Americans including millions of children.
•It is now the law of the land that women get equal pay for equal work. I still can’t believe it took until 2009 for that to happen.
•We no longer humiliate our brave soldiers because of who they love. Despite what we were told, that change didn’t weaken our military. But now that it’s done the odds of a Romney one day serving have increased to one in ten.
•Obama has actually put in place fewer regulations on businesses than George Bush did in his first term. Fewer regulations under Obama. I bet that’s a surprise. It appears that Mitt Romney, Donald Trump and the Koch Brothers can remain fabulously wealthy even if Obama remains President.
•We are now drilling more and producing more domestic oil than before. Even though Mitt seems to think every private citizen has an oil well in their garden, much of the increase has indeed been on public lands not just on private lands. Obama finally told oil companies to shit or get off the pot.
•President Obama has actually lowered taxes. He retained the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and has lowered taxes for the middle class as well. Don’t believe me? Romney’s tax rate is 33% lower than the percentage of Americans who are victims.
•And while I am pretty sure Romney already knows this, China owns actually less than 10% of our national debt and almost any economic professor will tell you that’s actually a good thing.
Well, will you listen to me? I sound like one of those weekend news shows on PBS –factually more accurate but not nearly as entertaining as Bill O’Reilly. I hope I didn’t bore you too much.
My point is this. One candidate is talking about our future – green energy, improved schools, better roads and bridges, sustainable job and pay growth, diplomacy, allies around the world… The other candidate (the Republican) keeps going on and on about missile defense in Poland, war with Russia, mining for coal and the 1916 Navy. Somewhere, anywhere there is a wall that Romney is desperate to tear down. Poor dear. He’s about 25 years too late and Putin is no Gorbachev.
Too bad we don’t have Sarah Palin this year. She wore her crazy on her sleeve, but Romney is actually pretty good at misleading voters. Don’t let him mislead you. He may look Presidential while his is lying, but do we really want to make this about looks? If we did that we would have to include the wives and Michelle Obama is a knock out.
We have a President who cares about all 100% of us. And he’s good looking to boot. Let’s keep him. I mean it. Really.
MARGARET:
My nephew says to tell you that you are beating a dead horse with Palin. He says the line should be A Republican without a war is like a Kardashian without a sex tape. Maybe you can ask Matthew not to attach my name and picture to that one. Two more weeks, dear. Two more weeks and we can go back to working on the cookbook. Oh, and Helen, you heard it here first – Trump is an asshat.
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