Ahh. My Alma Mater, mother goddess. The 10 Rules of UCLA:
1) Its not about education - students are last on the list - dead last
2) eat any and all free food provided at events - UCLA is expensive, and there are lots of UCLA parties at the taxpayers expense - museum parties - art department parties - film department parties and sets...
3) Its about providing jobs to unemployable graduates
4) Its also about providing a nice place for the Chancellor to show off to his friends. The Chancellor is a guy who gave the Governor a lot of money during the Governor's election race. Therefor UCLA is under constant rebuilding to make it ever more beautiful so the Chancellor can bring his friends and show off.
5) There is no parking. There are few buses. There is even not enough parking for bicycles, you might think I'm exaggerating, but wait until you go there and can't find a legal place to park your bicycle. There are no safe roads for bicycling to UCLA. It is legal, in Brentwood, to run over cyclists to save 2 seconds and make it to that meeting that is so important.
6) There is no parking EXCEPT the Chancellors mansion on the north edge. There are 40 or 50 spaces never used at the Chancellors mansion. Everyone drools in awe at his parking lot. Everyone dreams of they day they can park there.
7) AND EXCEPT for the athletes, most of whom could not describe Joe Biden's job. Athletes at one time not only had parking, but they had handicapped parking, so they could park closer to their classes and not wear themselves out walking long distances to classes where they were passed with a B-.
8) its about networking. After you graduate your friends will get you jobs, not your diploma. So party hardy!!!
9) Kiss up to the administrators of your department... they might even get you parking.
10) Take care of Allen. I think they built a wing just for him. That's what they told me anyway. (Allen see rule #2) |
