I heard the British Admiralty invented ~ well, devised ~ what became suit-cuff buttons, to keep their sailors from wiping their mouths all over their jacket sleeves.
I hope they issued napkins then. Otherwise, what would be the point? Leave your mouth a mess? Or maybe they put a mom on board, who went round the line with a washcloth. A standard mom-issue abrasive-sandpaper one. I know why kids are always trying to turn their head away from those. Here, let me use a washcloth on your face, and see how you like it.
Or maybe the sailors then used their sock-tops, and that's when bell bottoms came in.
Originally, they were easier for the sailors to reach under, with their hand under the table. But then the mommies discovered what was up, and started using the balloon shape for sock-and-pantleg inspections. And of course they've been that way ever since, because once mommies discover a deception it's entered in the communal culture and consciousness of mommie-dom forever.
History. It takes some understanding. |
