Germany added to Bush's 'Axis of Evil'
After a 1:0 defeat of the United States by Germany in the World Cup Tournament this morning, Attorney
General John Ashcroft made a televised statement declaring Germany to be the newest member of the
United States' 'Axis of Evil.'
Ashcroft said, "The President already made it very clear to the world that who is not with us is against us. The
Germans have stood against us today, and we will stand against them tomorrow."
Although less than ten Americans watched the World Cup match between the U.S. and Germany, Ashcroft
went on to say, "It is an outrage that our one-time ally has fought us in such a fashion, forcing our men to
retreat from the battle. We must not, we can not, allow this to happen."
The President is expected to make a statement today as well. An anonymous white house cabinet member
who is a black war hero with the initials C.P. has given Kuro5hin vague information that Bush plans to use
so-called "smart bombs" and "daisy cutters" to destroy Frankfurt at 5:00pm EST tomorrow, as well as Berlin
on Monday at 6:00pm in order to allow people time to get home and watch it on television.
The President has previously stated, "We will be deliberate, we will be thoughtful, we will consult with our
friends and allies, but when I said 'axis of evil,' I meant it." Prime Minister Tony Blair has voiced support of
the operation, calling for the bombing of Sao Paolo as part of the 'Axis of Evil' as well.
Some of the terrorists involved with the defeat of the United States have already been captured. Sources say
that the list of detainees include Michael Ballack (aka Mohammad Ahkoosh), Oliver Kahn (aka Amir Salaah),
and Torsten Frings (aka Ibrahim Zhehan.) These terrorists will be taken to Camp X-ray at Guantanamo Bay,
Cuba for torture and secret execution.
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