Tenchu's Thoughts: Too many wimps trying out to be ICE thugs
Hey MAGA, what's with this?
‘It’s pathetic’: Trump’s ICE recruitment drive is stalling as new hires can’t pass basic fitness test, report says (The Independent)
With ICE now offering incentives like loan forgiveness and $50,000 bonuses, the agency has been flooded with more than 150,000 applications this year, but about a third of recruits at the agency’s academy have been unable to pass a basic fitness test requiring 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and running one-and-a-half miles in 14 minutes, The Atlantic reports, citing administration officials. Wow, that's absolutely pathetic.
First of all, if you're going to be an ICE thug, you should at least have some VERY basic physical fitness.
I took a look at the ICE web site, and it listed the bare minimum:
Physical Fitness Test (ICE.gov)
- Sit ups: 32 sit-ups in 1 minute or less
- Push Ups: 22 push-ups in 1 minute or less
- Sprint: 220-yard sprint in 47.73 seconds or less
- Run: 1.5-mile run in 14 minutes 25 seconds or less
None of these are all that challenging. A reasonably fit middle-aged man can pass this test. Maybe someone who has been sitting on the couch for a little too long, or sitting behind a desk like me, could spend at most a month to get back into shape.
So why are one third of applicants failing to meet these basic minimum requirements?
<troll_mode>
It's because there are too many MAGA losers who fancy themselves as "real men" but can't live up to objective standards of physical fitness.
They are the incels like Nick "Kidler" Fuentes who are proud that they can't get a date because, you know, they supposedly have "high standards" for girls. They listen to Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan and the so-called "manosphere" where they've been fed a steady diet of "alpha male" bullshit.
They are also the rednecks with big ole' beer bellies driving around in huge, jacked-up pickup trucks with loud exhausts and are totally not trying to make up for something. They can't seem to hold down any well-paying jobs because of their entitled attitudes, but they blame iLlEgAl mExIcAnS for their troubles. They of course will jump at the opportunity for a $50K signing bonus, plus some very generous benefits, all because any other job they are "qualified" for doesn't pay enough.
McDonald's employee? Boring.
Starbucks barista? Good God, no. Too woke.
Soldier? Many of the older ones ARE soldiers, or at least veterans. The incels obviously aren't, nor do they ever want to be.
Go pick crops? Nah, that's for the brownskins. That work is beneath them.
Master a trade? Takes too long.
But being an ICE thug and serving their Dear Leader Trump, while getting immediate benefits out of it? "Sign me up!"
But when they get off their fukkin' couches (no pun intended, MISTER Vance), they quickly find out that they aren't the "alpha dog" type.
<troll_mode_off>
To be sure, most applicants pass the basic fitness tests, but then again, they're SUPPOSED to. These tests are objectively not that hard.
I just wonder about the 1/3 of applicants who couldn't pass those tests. These guys must be completely delusional if they think they can be an ICE thug without being able to do something as easy as 22 push-ups in a minute.
Tenchusatsu
P.S. - If these tests required applicants to wear standard-issue ICE gear while performing them, THEN the high dropout rate might make more sense. Wearing 25 lbs of junk while running 1.5 miles IS rather difficult. But even that can be achieved with a good workout program.
P.P.S. - How many of these losers are also anti-vaxxers who think healthy living can build up nAtUrAl iMmUnItY? |
