FAscinating!!
-- we dealt with this in '99- way before blogs!-- when my older son, enamored with the Harvard Lampoon, set up his own site, and got friends to contribute. Some of the stories had some not so nice things about teachers, admin, and fellow classmates and some got downright vulgar. Some of it was kind of funny if offensive- I liked the picture of two guys drinking huge steins of beer, with the caption "Quarterback and coach relax after a game." Unfortunately, both the quarterback and coach were outspoken and fervent Christians and didn't see the humor.
THe site had nothing to do with school-- but word spread quickly among the students and we got a call from the principal.
CW was two weeks away from graduating, a Merit Scholar heading to Rice, captain of the swim team, president of the COmputer Club, and voted Most Likely to Succeed in his class of 450.
The angry teachers and admin were saying he shouldn't graduate at all, that he didn't deserve a diploma.
LUckily, both the principal and my husband were men of reason. My husband, the lawyer, said that there was no question that CW and friends (none of whom he would turn in-- he took full responsibility) had behaved inappropriately, inconsiderately, hurtfully. However, he had also done nothing illegal. We would certainly talk to CW about all that- how rights needed to be coupled with the thoughtful exercising of them- but that if they denied him his degree, they would have a lawsuit on their hands. The principal said he needed to do SOMETHING, so he and Dan decided that CW would spend the last week of school doing grunt work for the office. We talked to CW, who finally relinquished his absolute stance that freedom of speech trumped all and accepted that he was out of line in other ways, and he apologized to the teachers (who were completely ungracious about it, I must say, which was disappointing. I always expect more from adults, but their feelings were hurt.) He said he thought he shouldn't HAVE to do the grunt work, but he understood it was a compromise that allowed Dr P. to offer the offended parties something and that it was a way of apologizing to Dr P, a man CW respected, for causing him the problem.
COntrolling students seems to me the wrong way to go about teaching values and good judgment. Growing up is about learning how to make your own decisions, even really bad ones. It took more patience and effort and compromise but ultimately I think CW benefitted from the reasoned approach taken by his father and the principal. He learned a far more valuable lesson about rights and the judicious use of them. He learned that having a right doesn't automatically mean what you do IS right, a distinction that seems to elude many adults. |
