THE TRIAL OF A MORAL GOD
"It has been an exciting day here in the community of Salem, as the first day of God's trial for the murder of 42 children comes to a dramatic close with Solon, the Chief Prosecutor, being cited for contempt of court, after refusing to heed the judge's admonitions to discontinue his line of questioning with God.
As everyone knows, God is being tried for the murder of 42 children, after they allegedly called Elisa "old bald head". God took the stand in His own defense, and testified before the Human Race, that had assembled in the courthouse, that every word of His account in His confessions was the truth and the whole truth, so help Me Me.
2:23
And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
2:24
And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
The Holy Word of God was introduced into evidence, and God's personal account was read before the court. God then confirmed that the account was a true and accurate translation of what He had originally said.
God went on to testify that Elisha was walking along when some young kids made some childish remarks about his bald head. "Old bald head", they called him. Rather or not they felt justified in this by some previous mistreatment, God was unable to say. The only thing God knew for sure was that the kids thought it was playing to call him "old bald head".
"Elisha asked me to avenge him", stated God, as he examined the jury with an unflinching gaze from beneath bushy black eyebrows. He stroked his well groomed salt and pepper beard which hung low over His broad chest. After another long sip of water, God continued in a subdued voice: "What was I to do? I've killed lots of kids to punish other people that I didn't agree with. Now I was confronted with a situation where I could actually JUSTIFY killing these kids, on the basis of guilt. They were as guilty as Hell. I was there, and I speak truly. They did call him old bald head. At least, some of them did. I was there. I heard it". God paused to wipe some sweat off His angry brow.
At this point, Solon stepped forward, and accidentally spilled the water on God's pants. God gave him a rancorous look, and Solon then asked God to continue with His testimony: "What happened next?"
"There were two bears in the woods--about 300 yards from the clearing where the kids were playing. I sent My Spirit into their bodies, and I then returned to the clearing where they played. I caught them by total surprise, and I was able to use the huge claws and teeth to dismember them. I got all 40 of them".
At this point the Judge had to interrupt. God's voice had started to roll like thunder, and the Judge cautioned him to improve His tone or be cited for contempt.
"One little guy (Young Jude), almost got away. He made it into a tree, but I sent 333 squirrels to bite him over his entire body. When he fell out of the tree, he was almost dead, and was no match for me". God smiled a slow smile, and absentmindedly began to clean the dirt out from under his long nails.
Solon was becoming extremely agitated, and once again spilled water all over God's clothing. "What about their parents?" asked Solon. "What did you tell them?"
God looked nonplussed, and sat silently scratching his head. Slowly He looked up at Solon: "I told them nothing. I heard they were in terrible grief, but why should they know the truth?"
Solon leaped in close and screamed a succession of questions at God: "Didn't you think it was important for them to know that they were killed to fulfill JUSTICE? Didn't you think it was important that they know the kids were GUILTY of IMMORALITY? That they were killed because of how sinful they were? And that they were killed as an example of your PERFECT MORALITY and ABSOLUTE COMPASSION??
Water was being spilled again, and a raging Solon was led from the courtroom by Sheriff's officers, after which the judge leveled a contempt charge in absentia. God only smiled a slow smile and winked at one of the jury members who wore a look of profound adulation.
Defense Lawyer, Greg McRitchie, sat impassively through the entire morning, with his hand on a black bible, and refused comment to reporters after adjournment--other than to say that God had acted with Supreme Morality, and that He knew what He was doing..."
Message 14616071
"Solon put God back on the stand, when God's trial resumed this AM. After a bit of fencing, Solon forced God to admit that He had written the questions in Job 38,39,and 40. Solon asked God if He was confused about the Nature of Reality. At first God denied He was, but later, under relentless questioning, He finally admitted that He was.
Solon showed the Court that most of the questions had reasonable answers--that met the requirements of reasonable belief. Solon then proved that many of the questions showed an ignorance of the Nature of Reality (such as the earth resting on a foundation!). This day there was a lot of laughter in the court as the people tried to gain relief from the ugly testimony that God had given about the killing of the 42 children.
Expert witnesses were brought in to show that the questions, taken as a whole, were the product of a primitive and simple mind with no grounding in the sciences. Defense Attorney, Greg McRitchie, leaped into the fray and tried to have his client declared an imbecile, but the judge refused the request on the grounds that the defendent demonstrated sufficient capacity to form intentions, while yet understanding the most probable consequences of his actions, and being able to appreciate a moral distinction between consequences.
Solon got God to repeatedly claim that He knew everything, but when asked WHY He killed the kids, God simply said it was a plan He made millions of years ago. Solon asked God if He knew He was going to kill the kids when God first planned the Universe. God said He did. Solon asked if the creation was the first choice God had ever made. God answered in the negative. Solon asked if God knew He was going to decide to make the universe someday. God said, yes.
This went on for some time as Solon took God further and further back into his time. Solon was trying to pin down when God first thought the Universe of Man, but God simply kept remebvering further back. Did God remember His beginning Solon finally asked Him. God said He did not. Did God remember His end, Solon then continued. God again answered in the negative. Solon then asked if God remembered or understood all the events that came between the beginning and the end. God answered, "pretty much so".
"Why did you kill the 42 children?" Solon shouted in a loud voice.
"I don't know", relied God.
"What were you feeling at the time"?
"First I felt rage, then joy, then finally a sense of peace".
"Have you ever been hospitalized for mental illness"?
"No, I haven't".
"Do you believe that you are GOd, Sir"?
"I AM God".
As on the first day, Solon appeared unsteady on his feet, and repeatedly spilled his water on God's clothing.
Before the session closed for the day, Solon asked God if He loved anyone in the courtroom. God just laughed. "You know I love my children", He said. "Every God Damn one of em. They's all good kids, ceptin they's missin a mother..."
Message 14621073 |
