Best of the Web Today - June 13, 2006
By JAMES TARANTO
It Ain't So, Joe
On the first day of Fitzmas
Fitzgerald gave to me
An indictment of Scooter Libby
On the second day of Fitzmas
Fitzgerald gave to me
Uh, nothing! Damn it!
Well, that was quite a kerfuffle, wasn't it? Let's flash back to July 2003, when The Nation's David Corn relayed Joe Wilson's claim that the White House had "leaked" the name of his wife, Valerie Plame:
Without acknowledging whether she is a deep-cover CIA employee, Wilson says, "Naming her this way would have compromised every operation, every relationship, every network with which she had been associated in her entire career. This is the stuff of Kim Philby and Aldrich Ames." . . .
Under the Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982, it is a crime for anyone who has access to classified information to disclose intentionally information identifying a covert agent. The punishment for such an offense is a fine of up to $50,000 and/or up to ten years in prison.
Wilson famously said he would like to "get Karl Rove frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs." The New York Times and other liberal editorial pages demanded the appointment of a special prosecutor to investigate who gave accurate information to journalists, though it apparently didn't occur to them that finding that out would entail calling journalists to testify. (Now they are vigorously defending their First Amendment right to disclose things that really are secret.) The Justice Department complied.
Today Rove's lawyer, Robert Luskin, told the Times that the prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, had formally advised Rove that he will not be charged. It appears the investigation is over, except for the forthcoming trial of Scooter Libby on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice--wrongdoing that allegedly took place entirely after the investigation began.
This has got to be the worst day for the Angry Left since at least last Thursday. It would not be an exaggeration to call the left's enthusiasm over the Plame kerfuffle a case of mass hysteria. For months they have been awaiting "Fitzmas," the day that the grand jury handed up indictments of Rove and--who knows?--maybe even the vice president himself.
Sorry, guys.
Anyway, look around the Web and you can find examples of the Angry Left going through the five stages of grieving (we should note that this guy beat us to the idea):
o Denial. Truthout.org (motto: "If you want the truth, get out of here") "reports" that Rove actually has been indicted. "As of Friday afternoon that indictment, returned by the grand jury the week of May 10th, remains under seal--more than a month after it was handed up by the grand jury. The case number is "06 cr 128." On the federal court's electronic database, '06 cr 128' is listed along with a succinct summary: 'No further information is available.' " Says blogress Christy Smith: "Unless and until I hear it from Patrick Fitzgerald, the investigation continues to be ongoing. Which means that there are still potential developments down the road."
o Bargaining. "This latest news doesn't prove or disprove the basic question of whether Fitzgerald was ready to indict Rove," claims Duncan "Atrios" Black. "It's quite likely Rove has cut a deal of some sort. It's quite possible that Fitz's letter to Luskin, which hasn't been made public as far as I can tell, says something along the lines of 'as long as you cooperate as promised your ass is safe for now.' " Black's employer, Media Mutters, says maybe Rove will lose his security clearance for--well, for what isn't quite clear.
o Anger. "He doesn't belong in the White House. If the president valued America more than he valued his connection to Karl Rove, Karl Rove would have been fired a long time ago," says Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean on the "Today" show. "So I think this is probably good news for the White House, but it's not very good news for America."
o Despair. "My Heart Is Broken, My Spirit Crushed, My Faith in America Destroyed," declares "Dementer" on DemocraticUnderground.com. "On the other hand, I am sure that there are numerous other criminal enterprises that Kkkarl [sic] has participated in, so we just have to keep digging. Perhaps Fitz is doing just that--he has the license to do so. Or am I approaching the definition of insanity, here?"
o Acceptance. "I think the chances are nil that Luskin is making this up since that'd be practically daring Patrick Fitzgerald to indict his client," says Josh Marshall, who had been one of the most credulous cheerleaders. "Whatever else he may be . . ., he's no fool." Though Marshall must be feeling quite foolish for having been one of Wilson's most enthusiastic and credulous cheerleaders way back when.
Drudge notes that many Angry Left Web sites have been strangely quiet, though MSNBC's Keith Olbermann, who according to Drudge has predicted Rove's indictment at least 26 times, does comment: "It is the 'Perfect Storm' of baseball scandals."
U.S. Will Succeed in Iraq, Say Majority of Americans
Here's a lovely example of liberal media bias: A CBS poll finds that 60% of Americans say it's likely "that the United States will ultimately find success in Iraq," and more than 50% say "Iraq will eventually become a stable democracy."
So is the headline, "Majority of Americans Foresee Success in Iraq"? Nope, it's "Poll: Zarqawi Death Has Little Impact." CBS chose to play up this finding:
Half think the level of violence in Iraq will be unchanged by Zarqawi's death, while 30 percent say it will actually lead to more attacks against U.S. forces. Just 16 percent think the number of attacks will decrease as a result of his death.
Sixty-one percent also say Zarqawi's death won't have any impact on the terrorist threat against the United States, while 22 percent it will increase that threat. Thirteen percent predict a decreased risk of terrorism.
In some sense this all doesn't matter--after all, these are just opinions, mostly held by people who have no more than a passing knowledge of Iraq. But CBS insists on emphasizing those results that make it appear as if Americans agree with the "liberal," anti-Iraq point of view.
Of course, this doesn't really serve the interests of liberals, since it reinforces their prejudices by misleading them into thinking most Americans share them. If most Americans think Iraq will succeed, is that going to lead them to vote for a party that is rallying around a defeatist like John Murtha?
Trouble in Paradise
The Associated Press reports from Ramallah, West Bank, on the latest fighting involving Palestinians, only they're fighting not Israelis but other Palestinians:
Hundreds of Palestinian security forces loyal to President Mahmoud Abbas went on a rampage against the Hamas-led government Monday night, riddling the parliament and Cabinet buildings with bullets and setting them on fire in retaliation for an attack by Hamas gunmen.
The security men shot out the windows of the parliament building before storming the two-building Cabinet complex, where they smashed furniture, destroyed computers and scattered documents. No casualties were reported.
The mob then set fire to one of the Cabinet buildings, gutting the building's fourth floor. When a fire engine approached the scene, one gunman lay on the road in front of it, preventing it from reaching the building.
"Every time they touch one of ours in Gaza, we will get ten of theirs in the West Bank," said one member of the Preventive Security force, which is loyal to Abbas' Fatah movement.
This is sort of like the Iran-Iraq war, in that you're rooting for both sides to lose. A couple of questions occur to us, though. First, weren't the people who were warning us about "civil war" if America liberated Iraq arguing instead that America should stick its nose into Palestinian affairs? Second, how come no one--not even the New York Times--refers to a "cycle of violence" unless a civilized country is involved?
Clinton: Republicans Control the Weather
"As Tropical Storm Alberto threatened to strengthen into the ninth hurricane in 22 months to affect Florida, former President Clinton predicted Monday that Republican environmental policies will lead to more severe storms," the Associated Press reports.
Such scare tactics seem like a good way of ensuring that more people will vote for the GOP. After all, if Republicans control the weather, who knows what other powers they have?
'I Have the Hat'
Scott Shepard of the Palm Beach Post reports from Las Vegas on the Angry Left convention:
For all the bashing of the mainstream media at the YearlyKos convention, the bloggers in attendance clearly wanted to be taken seriously by the reporters covering the convention. Their blogs frequently quoted from mainstream newspaper articles, and they tried to have their photographs taken with the likes of New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.
But some started to worry about the image they were projecting outside the blogosphere on Saturday when some bloggers started an unusual contest--making the most original tinfoil hat. As dozens of bloggers donned their creations with delight, television crews and newspaper photographers descended on them. "Oh, no. This is going to be the B-roll on TV tonight," said one dismayed blogger.
A study of "aluminum foil helmets" at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, however, suggests that the Kosmonauts may be the victims of a government plot:
The helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz. According to the FCC, These bands are supposedly reserved for ''radio location'' (ie, GPS), and other communications with satellites. . . . The 2.6 Ghz band coincides with mobile phone technology. Though not affiliated by government, these bands are at the hands of multinational corporations.
It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.
Indeed, perhaps it is no coincidence that shortly after the Kossies donned their hats, Karl Rove got off and President Bush went to Baghdad.
An Honest Accountant
In a letter to the New York Times, Marc J. Lewyn of Atlanta explains why he opposes repeal of the death tax:
As a financial adviser, I spend much of my time helping clients decide how to handle their estate tax liability. . . .
It's not that hard to structure an estate to avoid the tax. That's what the thousands of accountants, lawyers and financial planners do.
From my perspective, the estate tax is purely optional. So repeal is unnecessary except for the uninformed, the unfocused or those people who are unwilling to pay their financial planning team a little more to make the tax go away or be reduced.
People pay their professionals to avoid lots of income tax legally, and they do it every year. Why is it so hard for them to pay a little every few years to review the estate plan and avoid much or all of the estate tax?
In other words, without the estate tax, people who make a living off dying would be out of work.
Great Orators of the Democratic Party
o "One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson
o "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."--Franklin Roosevelt
o "The buck stops here."--Harry Truman
o "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."--John Kennedy
o "When I become chairman [of a House appropriations subcommittee], I'm going to earmark the [four-letter scatological vulgarity] out of it."--Rep. Jim Moran
Jim Moran, Call Your Office
"Manure Problem Reaches Capitol Hill"--headline, Chicago Tribune, June 12
Good News for Citrus Growers
"Brown No Longer Consumed by Hate for O.J."--headline, Associated Press, June 12
Bad News for Hairdressers Local No. 622
"Australia Overrules Gay Union Law"--headline, BBC Web site, June 13
Or at Least for U.S. Catholics
"More Bad News for U.S.: Pope Injured"--headline, Associated Press, June 12
Make Ours Paisley
"China, India Set to Rediscover Silk Route Ties: Andy Mukherjee"--headline, Bloomberg.com, June 13
Thanks for the Tip!--LXXX
"Health Tip: My Teeth Are Discolored"--headline, HealthDayNews, June 13
Bottom Stories of the Day
o "Sandler Never Booked for NH AIDS Event"--headline, Union Leader (Manchester, N.H.), June 13
o "Few Flock to Lucas County Bird Flu Forum"--headline, Toledo Blade, June 13
o "Americans Not Quite Catching World Cup Bug"--headline, Associated Press, June 12
o "In Scotland, 'Abramoff' Draws Blank Stares"--headline, Roll Call, June 13
o "Al Gore: Next Movie May Have Nude Scene"--headline, NewsMax.com, June 10
A Cure for What Ales You
"A main ingredient in beer may help prevent prostate cancer and enlargement, according to a new study," the Associated Press reports from Corvallis, Ore.:
But researchers say don't rush out to stock the refrigerator because the ingredient is present in such small amounts that a person would have to drink more than 17 beers to benefit.
Boy is the AP ever confused. Quite obviously if you have to drink 17 beers, that would mean you do need to rush out to stock the fridge. Some journalists just don't understand science. |
