Leno on Kerry -
"John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them." —Jay Leno
"They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to
raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, thats nothing. He once raised
$500 million with two words: I do." —Jay Leno
"Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the surgery was done, but cautioned that that was just the drug. He went back to his boring self soon afterward." —Jay Leno
"The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why — with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him." —Jay Leno
"John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the
election. This could be a risky move for Senator Kerry. If Bush doesnt show up for the debates, John Kerry may end up debating an empty chair. And that could be pretty much a toss up as to which one has the better personality." —Jay Leno
"John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. Hes like a mole for the working man." —Jay Leno
"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle." —Craig Kilborn
"Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it." —Jay Leno
"They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says hes going after the wealthy in this country, hes not just talking. Hes doing it!" —Jay Leno
"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the
Bush administration. I agree. Sure, it may take another five years, but this is it."
—Jay Leno |
