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Politics : Military Strategy Board
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From: Thomas M.1/28/2025 12:16:34 PM
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UK navy mistook farting whale for phantom Russians trying to track their nuclear subs

It’s the Hunt for Red Fart-ober.

The UK’s Royal Navy launched a frantic search for phantom Russians off the coast after picking up two mysterious sounds in the ocean — only to conclude that the noises came from a gassy whale, an official told The Sun.

Naval officials feared one of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s drone subs had dropped a listening device onto the ocean floor between two islands in Scotland and let rip on an investigation.

The two toots were detected about 100 miles from where the UK’s doomsday subs are based.

“We have been analyzing the sounds and now believe it was a marine mammal. A whale,” the official told the British newspaper.

The sound, first described by analysts as a man-made noise, had never before been picked up on the sensors — leading the navy to confuse Das Boof for Das Boot, according to the report.

It also sparked fears that Russia’s deep-sea research unit, known as GUGI, was trying to record acoustic signatures of the British subs to make them easier to track.

The locations of the Royal Navy’s Astute-class attack subs and Vanguard-class ballistic missile submarines are among the UK’s most closely guarded military secrets. They are designed to move through the sea with nary a squeak.

While it was determined the flatulence was the cause of the false alarm, officials said they take all threats seriously.

“We are taking it very seriously,” another source said. “We have to assume the worst.”

It was also not the first time whales have set off alarms.

The gassy situation comes months after a famed Russian beluga whale believed to be a spy was found dead off the coast of Norway.

The white Beluga whale named “Hvaldimir” was first discovered near the Russian/Norwegian maritime border in 2019 wearing a Russian camera harness.

Hvaldimir’s harness — coupled with his friendly demeanor — prompted speculation that he may have escaped after being forcibly enlisted to conduct intelligence-gathering operations for Russia, which has been known to utilize aquatic mammals for espionage.

Russia has never confirmed nor denied a connection to the beluga.

nypost.com

Tom
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