Dave, <Maybe AMD should give away Jerry antenna balls.> Jerry's never been accused of not having balls. Maybe he'd enjoy a new role taking potshots at "low performance computers."
Jerry will be reincarnated as the Jerry-ball. He wears a suit and tie but his head resembles an oversize Jack-in-the-box clown but with a goatee.
Jerry would be wearing his Jerry-ball head and he would walk over to a giant mock-up of a computer chip.
"This is a low performance computer chip. It has high numbers, but doesn't perform well."
When we look at the chip we can see what he means. Running helter-skelter all over the face of the chip are 1500 Grovelini's, bumping into eachother, shouting at eachother and attempting to build something (we're never sure what they are trying to accomplish). (By the way, all grovelini's look identical except for the number tag on their chest.)
"Err..., what's your job, sir?"
(In a nebbish voice) "I'm grovelini number 1500. They didn't tell me what I'm supposed to do yet, so I mostly just get in the way."
Right then, a phalanx of grovelini's carrying a basket marked "email" stumbles into number 1500 and knocks him down. #1500 is out cold and we see the mail scattering.
Another little Grovellini shouts, "Where's number 1500, I need my instructions!"
Another answers, "Don't you know the last 500 grovelini's we hired don't do anything? He's sleeping."
"Well, where's number 1133?"
"He was recalled!" comes the answer. "Stop Grovelling!"
Jerryball walks away shaking his head. "You need more than big numbers and high prices for High Performance Computing (TM-Petz)," he sighs.
JerryBall proudly walks over to the High Performance Computing chip. The little jerryballs are called athlons, they are both male and female, multiracial, and they are all working smoothly and in unison. They are building a beautiful structure. They also have numbers on their chests and the highest number is 1200.
Jerryball sits with his arms folded looking at the 3D masterpiece they are constructing take shape.
"What are you athlons making today?"
"Oh, hi dad! [pan to huge grin on Jerryball's face] ..."We're making a 3D web page for the zoo!"
We see that some of the little athlons have laser light pens tracing out beautiful animations and patterns. Others just move their arms with ballet-like precision and, "whoosh" -- jungle scenes appear behind them. Little email athlons prance by delivering mail.
"Its done, would you like to step into some virtual reality?"
Jerry walks through some of the fantastic virtual-reality, pushing a button here or there to animate a dinosaur fight or whatever.
"Another masterpiece of High Performance Computing!"
JerryBall comes over to interview an athlon. "How many of you are working together on this?"
"Oh, hi pop" -- [pan to another big smirk on Jerryball's face] -- "right now there's 1200 of us but we're always growing. We love working for your customers. [another grin from Jerry]"
Jerry: "Anybody can make a low performance computer with high numbers [pan over to the pandemonium at the Intel chip where grovelini's are fighting, falling and bumping into eachother and falling off the edge of the chip into an abyss.] But, High Performance Computing requires an AMD Athlon processor."
"I know, because every athlon is a chip off the old block." He points to his head then walks away with an athlon about half his size as the following fades up:
High Performance Computing
AMD Athlon
Low Cost
Now its the announcers voice:
"Ask your retailer about our double your memory for free promotion.
High Performance Computing and AMD Athlon are trademarks of Advanced Micro Devices. Low Performance Computing is not trademarked...
yet."
Petz |
