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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices
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To: Road Walker who wrote (202805)9/18/2004 4:29:17 AM
From: tejek   of 1576257
 
<font color=brown>John, just in case you weren't invited!
<font color=black>

Republican National Convention Schedule:

>Revised, July 2004

>6:00pm - Opening prayer

>6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer

>6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers

>6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon

>7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan

>7:15pm - Additional prayers

>7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton

>8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay

>8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton

>8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual

>8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser Permanente

>9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)

>9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party

>9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "the quads"

>9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan

>10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go screw himself.

>10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea (Bush: "Damn, the SOUTH is our ally!")

>10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin.

>10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf

>11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual

>11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser

>11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president

>12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)

>2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates
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