BANY: Core business growth, exciting affiliations! Message Board

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Microcap & Penny Stocks : BANY: Core business growth, exciting affiliations!

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To: TraderGreg who wrote (2037)	5/13/1998 5:03:00 PM
From: Mike Sawyer	of 5847

Off topic... and very funny! SUBJECT: VIAGRA With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards the improving performance of men in today's society*. DIRECTA - A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72% of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of .2%. PROJECTA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child care tasks; especially cleaning-up spills and "little accidents". COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82% of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen; whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit. NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U. S. presidents. NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides. FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra. PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors". LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

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