From NYTimes Metropolitan Diary:
The bolded words are my comments:
Dear Diary: While living in Manhattan and on my way to the Museum of Natural History, an approaching pedestrian and I simultaneously spotted a $10 bill on the sidewalk.
The man, closer to the bill than I was, picked it up and put it in his pocket. As we passed, he handed me a five! What a town!
Five and Ten
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Craig and Nancy Sobocinski were shopping for mattresses with their 3-year-old son, Alec. The hours went by, the number of stores visited increased and Alec became restless.
As he was wandering through the last store, a young salesperson invited him to try an adjustable bed. He climbed up, and she proceeded to show him how the control pad lowered and raised the bed, and even made it vibrate.
Alec was unimpressed. "Can you make it fly?" he asked.
Flying Mattress
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John Schiff was jogging in Central Park, wearing his Nolan Ryan T-shirt with a picture of the retired pitcher on the front and facts of his career on the back. As he jogged along, he realized someone was pacing behind him. After three minutes or so, the man behind him put on speed and called out as he passed, "Thanks for the information. Good reading."
Read MY BACK Remember "Read my Lips" by Mr. Bush
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As an artist about to leave on a long trip to Italy, I called a storage company to have someone pack the artwork in my studio. The packer arrived the next day with stacks of flattened cardboard and balls of twine. I went back to my easel as he began unfolding the
pieces of cardboard and fitting them to the paintings, tying and securing. From time to time I watched as he made one neat package after another, thinking to myself, "What a monotonous job day after day."
After awhile, we took a coffee break and he asked me if I was a painter, either oblivious to what he was packing, or just to make conversation. I admitted I was, and this provoked a thoughtful silence. Then he said, "Do you do this every day?" I said I did
indeed. Another silence. Then in a sympathetic voice he said, "It must be boring."
The Monotone
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