Ok, let's try that the other way round:
____________________________________________________________
Plaintiff's Counsel: Mr. Rea, I need not remind you that you are under oath.
Defendant Christopher Rea: OK, ok, I was just giving an opinion, give me a break.
Counsel: You said you never gave any advice. When you say BUY doesn't that mean advice?
Rea: That was an accident, I accidentally typed in the wrong window. What I meant was: "Honey, BUY that new TIVO software for the kids for Christmas at $50 7/8."
Counsel: Mr. Rea, do you always charge your clients $500/month so they might listen into your matrimonial interplay?
Rea: Mind your own business, that's my wife your talking about, Mister Hot-shot. She's a Serb and she'll kick your rear all the way to Dundee. Our members know about that because we blasted NATO in between recommendations - oops, I meant telephone calls to our members - in early 99. We did lose some clients though.
Counsel: I am very sorry to hear it. Mr. Rea, Merlin, do you have a yacht called "It's a Kinda Majic"?
Rea: Yes indeedy, moored in Marco Island, Florida.
Counsel: Hmmmm, where are the customer's yachts? No, withdrawn. Merlin, did you trade through an offshore account under the shell corporation banner Magic Trading, Ltd.?
Rea: Slainte matey you got no proof of anything.
Counsel: Your Honor, please allow Plaintiff to call XXXX, Chairman of XXX Bank, of the XXX and XXXX to rebut this testimony.........................
Counsel: Now Merlin, having established that, why did you make recommendations that you yourself did not follow, when in fact you were doing the opposite? You charged your clients $500 month but you did the exact opposite. Now why do that if your selling an honest service? You accepted huge kickbacks for making 300 recommendations daily, and on top of that you traded against all the recommendations yourself? Why did you lie to your clients and say in public to your clients that while Berber offered you 50k a month for the Cyber kickbacks you didn't take them? That you were the White Knight? How could you say you would refuse Mother Teresa - er, excuse me, Mr. Berber here? And what is it with all these bank statements showing Mr. Berber sending you quite a nice retirement package every month via CyberTrader's clearing firm? He must really like you a lot to send so much money - even before he gave the $100 million to the Ethiopians. Oh, sorry, I meant $100,850. Anyway, so you have some good friends, Merlin, much more than in King Arthur's day I do say. How do you explain all of these activities?
Rea: Be quiet! You are talking to Chairman General Yasser Arafat!
Counsel: Excuse me?
Rea: I don't really feel well. I think I may be coming down with a 24-hour bug. May I please be excused?
The Honorable Judge X: Mr. Rea, considering your false statements under oath, you may very well soon catch a 20-year bug called Lompoc.
Counsel: Thank-you, Your Honor, we respectfully move for a recess until Merlin's majic returns. |
