Best of the Web Today - September 5, 2007
By JAMES TARANTO
Today's Video on WSJ.com: John Fund on national polls and the presidential race.
'Germany . . . Has Been Spared'
"Three suspected Islamic terrorists from an al-Qaida-influenced group nursing 'profound hatred of U.S. citizens' were arrested on suspicious of plotting imminent, massive bomb attacks on U.S. facilities in Germany," the Associated Press reports from Berlin:
A senior State Department official said German investigators had determined the Frankfurt International Airport and the nearby U.S. Ramstein Air Base were the primary targets of the plot but that those arrested may have also been considering strikes on other sites, particularly facilities associated with the United States.
Two points about this: First, two cheers for our excellent allies the Germans. We're withholding one cheer for their failure to pull their weight in Iraq.
Which brings us to the second point. This is a really obnoxious passage from that AP story:
Germany, which did not send troops to Iraq, has been spared terrorist attacks such as the mass transit bombings in Madrid and London--although its involvement in the attempt to stabilize Afghanistan has led to fears it might be targeted.
The AP implies that Islamist terrorism is retaliation for the West's intervention in Afghanistan and Iraq, and that countries that get their troops out of there would be safe. Well, six years ago, America had no military presence in Afghanistan, and its presence in Iraq was limited to fly-overs. We were not spared terrorist attacks. How does the AP explain this?
Know Your Enemy
Those of us who hope Iran will avoid war by throwing off its lunatic theocratic regime got some discouraging news in today's New York Times, which carries the following report by Michael Slackman from Tehran:
Rents are soaring, inflation hovers around 17 percent, and 10 million Iranians live below the poverty line. The police said they shut 20 barbershops for men in Tehran last week because they offered inappropriate hairstyles, and women have been banned from riding bicycles in many places, as a crackdown on social freedoms presses on.
For months now, average Iranians have endured economic hardships, political repression and international isolation as the nation's top officials remained defiant over Iran's nuclear program. But in a country whose leaders see national security, government stability and Islamic values as inextricably entwined, problems that usually would constitute threats to the leadership are instead viewed as an opportunity to secure its rule.
Paradoxically, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's economic missteps and the animosity generated in the West by his aggressive posture on the nuclear issue have helped Iran's leaders hold back what they see as corrupting foreign influences, by increasing the country's economic and political isolation, said economists, diplomats, political analysts, businessmen and clerics interviewed over the past two weeks.
But this report seems to contradict Slackman's pessimism:
In another sign of growing domestic discontent with Iran's increasingly radical policies, a former president long sidelined by the supreme leader narrowly won election to head a government council called the Assembly of Experts.
The author of this second story? Michael Slackman. Like the first story, it appears in today's New York Times. Usually you have to turn to the editorial page to find a contradiction like this, but Slackman managed to pull it off all by himself.
His Other Colleagues Wish He Knew How to Quit Them
"Larry vs. World Again" reads a headline on the front page of USA Today alongside a photo of the bald, sixtyish man with two first names. We thought the Larry Craig story had ended over the long weekend when the convicted disorderly conductor announced his resignation from the Senate. But the story has taken another bizarre twist, and Craig now has put the word out that he may not quit.
Craig announced his resignation--or, to be precise, his "intent to resign . . . effective Sept. 30"--on Saturday. The next day, Sen. Arlen Specter told Chris Wallace of "Fox News Sunday":
I'd still like to see Sen. Craig fight this case. He left himself some daylight, Chris, when he said that he intends to resign in 30 days. I'd like to see Larry Craig go back to court, seek to withdraw his guilty plea and fight the case. I've had some experience in these kinds of matters since my days as Philadelphia district attorney, and on the evidence, Sen. Craig wouldn't be convicted of anything. And he's got his life on the line and 27 years in the House and Senate, and I'd like to see him fight the case, because I think he could be vindicated.
We took this to be one of Specter's eccentric musings--remember "Scottish law"?--but it now appears Craig left himself that "daylight" on the advice of Specter. Last night a Craig spokesman put out the word that he may not resign after all after Roll Call, a Capitol Hill newspaper, obtained a voice-mail message Craig had meant for his lawyer, Billy Martin, but left instead on someone else's phone when he dialed he wrong number. The MP3 is here.
Craig begins by saying that "Arlen Specter is now willing to come out"--please, suppress those snickers--"in my defense." He continues:
We have reshaped my statement a little bit to say it is my intent to resign on Sept. 30. I think it is important for you to make as bold a statement as you are comfortable with this afternoon, and I would hope you could make it in front of the cameras. I think it would help drive the story that I'm willing to fight, that I've got quality people out there fighting in my defense, and that this thing could take a new turn or a new shape, it has that potential.
Later that day, Martin's office put out a not-terribly-strong written statement:
Martin said, "The arrest of any citizen raises very serious constitutional questions, especially when that citizen says that he is innocent and pled guilty in an attempt to avoid public embarrassment. Senator Craig, like every other American citizen, deserves the full protection of our laws. He has the right to pursue any and all legal remedies available as he begins the process of trying to clear his good name."
If Craig is able to withdraw his guilty plea--a big if--it seems to us highly probable that he would be acquitted, assuming prosecutors decide to bring charges at all. Whether he committed lewd conduct or not depends on the intent behind various gestures--and here it is the policeman's word against Craig's. As long as Craig sticks to his story, it's hard to see how prosecutors can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Craig's intentions were sexual.
An acquittal, however, may not be enough to clear his good name. Craig appears to be guilty not only because he pleaded guilty but also because there were rumors of similar behavior, rumors that predated the Minneapolis incident but have now been given a full airing in the Idaho Statesman and elsewhere. Although these rumors would not be admissible in court, it seems like too much of a coincidence that an innocent Craig would be picked up in a bathroom-sex sting amid all these rumors. It sounds like a bad sitcom plot.
Which brings us back to USA Today. When we saw that "Larry vs. World Again" headline, we took a closer look. We wanted to know what the paper had to say about the latest Craig twist. But the bald man in the picture turned out to be Larry David, creator and star of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," which begins a new season this weekend.
One can easily imagine Larry David's eponymous character acting just like Larry Craig--the implausible "wide stance" excuse, the dithering over whether to do the right thing or the selfish thing. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" has had plot lines involving misunderstood sexual overtures, and also ones involving privacy breaches in bathrooms.
The only thing is, "Curb" doesn't deal with homosexual themes. It isn't that edgy. Now, maybe if it were on Showtime instead of HBO . . .
To the Vitter End
"As Prostitutes Turn to Craigslist, Law Takes Notice"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 5
Town Criers
"Under that famously self-confident exterior is a president who weeps--a lot," reports the Associated Press:
President Bush told the author of a new book on his presidency that "I try not to wear my worries on my sleeve" or show anything less than steadfastness in public, especially in a time of war.
"I fully understand that the enemy watches me, the Iraqis are watching me, the troops watch me, and the people watch me," he said. Yet, he said, "I do tears."
The Union Leader of Manchester, N.H., reports on another Washington figure beset by rumors of lachrymosity:
Did U.S. Supreme Court Justice David Souter of Weare weep and consider resigning after being on the losing side of the historic 2000 split decision that ended the Florida recount and effectively installed George W. Bush as President?
Souter's close friend, former New Hampshire Sen. Warren Rudman, calls that assertion in a new book by a well-known legal expert "absolutely false."
President Bush openly acknowledges that he sometimes cries, whereas Justice Souter sends out a pal to issue a defensive denial. Sounds like someone's insecure about his masculinity.
Who Says He's a Lame Duck?
"GW Fire Grows to 5,400 Acres; More Help Ordered"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 3
Laura vs. Hillary?
"George W. Bush: My Mate Can Win"--headline, Herald Sun (Melbourne, Australia), Sept. 6
'Her Intent Is Inconsequential'
Yesterday we pondered what to make of Nina Berman's photos of maimed American servicemen and reached a somewhat harsh conclusion. Reader David Christian has a different take:
There may not be nobility in death, but there can be nobility in volunteering for a dangerous assignment and living with the consequences of that decision. After viewing the photographs, I find them profoundly moving because I understand that any of these individuals could have avoided this fate by simply not heeding the call. We owe these young men and their comrades a debt a we will never be able to fully repay.
We owe Ms. Berman a much smaller thanks for documenting these young men and their situation. It serves to remind us of our debt. Her intent is inconsequential.
We find this completely persuasive and wish we'd thought about it this way to begin with.
Explosive Growth
o "In Turbulent Pakistan, Start-Ups Drive a Boom"--headline, The Wall Street Journal, Sept. 5
o "Suicide Blasts Kill 25 in Pakistani Garrison City"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 5
Trickle-Down Ecology
Brendan O'Neill of the online magazine Spiked calls our attention to an astonishing report that appeared last week in London's Times. You thought this "carbon offset" business was a scam? It turns out it's even worse, as O'Neill explains:
In [the Times article] it was revealed that the leader of the UK Conservative Party, David Cameron, offsets his carbon emissions by effectively keeping brown people in a state of bondage. Whenever he takes a flight to some foreign destination, Cameron donates to a carbon-offsetting company that encourages people in the developing world to ditch modern methods of farming in favour of using their more eco-friendly manpower to plough the land. So Cameron can fly around the world with a guilt-free conscience on the basis that, thousands of miles away, Indian villagers, bent over double, are working by hand rather than using machines that emit carbon.
Welcome to the era of eco-enslavement.
The details of this carbon-offsetting scheme are disturbing. Cameron offsets his flights by donating to Climate Care. The latest wheeze of this carbon-offsetting company is to provide "treadle pumps" to poor rural families in India so that they can get water on to their land without having to use polluting diesel power. Made from bamboo, plastic and steel, the treadle pumps work like "step machines in a gym," according to some reports, where poor family members step on the pedals for hours in order to draw up groundwater which is used to irrigate farmland. These pumps were abolished in British prisons a century ago. It seems that what was considered an unacceptable form of punishment for British criminals in the past is looked upon as a positive eco-alternative to machinery for Indian peasants today.
What might once have been referred to as "back-breaking labour" is now spun as "human energy."
What's more, this is all done so that Cameron can avoid making changes in his own lifestyle, which we are supposed to believe is destroying the planet. Global-warmism is not just some harmless enthusiasm; it can be despicable and inhuman.
Wannabe Pundits
"A year and a half ago, Tom Cruise was rumored to be interested in playing the outlaw, which would have given the film more false vibes than a Tony Snow press conference."--Allen Barra reviewing "3:10 to Yuma," New York Sun, Sept. 5
Bad News for Lando Calrissian
"The airborne laser program, which is being installed on a modified Boeing 747 aircraft, is designed to detect, track and engage a ballistic missile from a rogue state in the sky."--Associated Press, Sept. 4
The Goats Got a $400 Voucher
"Airline Sacrifices Goats to Appease Sky God"--headline, Reuters, Sept. 4
Her Memory Wasn't What It Used to Be
"10 Years Later, Mother Teresa Remembered"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 5
Or at Least Make George Clooney Shut Up About It
"Ban Support for Sudan Peace Deal"--headline, BBC Web site, Sept. 4
If Only They Could Both Lose
"Paul Newman Beats Bono in Africa"--headline, FoxNews.com, Sept. 3
Alternatives Include Jam, Cream Cheese
"Vermont Agency Fights Spread of Rock Snot"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 4
The Storekeeper Left the Window Open
"Heavy Rain May Be in Store"--headline, Arizona Daily Star (Tucson), Sept. 5
News You Can Use
o "Microwave Popcorn Could Harm Lungs"--headline, Munster (Ind.) Times, Sept. 5
o "Canadian Money Unusable in the U.S. of A."--headline, Saginaw (Mich.) News, Sept. 5
Bottom Stories of the Day
o "Free Internet Service Won't Expand in New Orleans"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 2
o "Manhattan: A Truck Is Stuck in Chelsea"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 5
o "Barry Feels 'Disrespected' by Mayor Fenty"--headline, WTOP-FM Web site (Washington), Sept. 5
'Freak Lawyer'
Eduardo "Eak the Geek" Arrocha, 45, is changing careers in midlife. Yesterday he started classes at Thomas M. Cooley law school in Lansing, Mich. His previous occupation? Circus freak at Coney Island. As AM New York reports:
He left the sideshow, but Eak is careful to point out this new foray into law isn't a rejection of his fellow freaks. On the contrary, he's doing it to help them.
"I know it sounds weird, but I want to be a freak lawyer," he said. "I hope to have a little office in New York and work with the alternative people ... all the so-called riff-raff, to give them legal representation that is not judgmental."
Eak is six feet tall with a clean-shaven head and burly 220-pound frame, and says he's been deflecting suspicious side glances and many times open looks of disdain since he began the process of having his body tattooed from head-to-toe.
Too often people took him for a shady weirdo, or a rounder with no prospects and few skills. They figured he worked the sideshow, because what other options are there when you've got stars and planets inked all over your face?
It sounds as though, by going into law, he will improve the prestige of both professions.
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