Don't play around with safety
Kids need more than warnings about strangers.
By Bo Emerson
ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION
Saturday, July 27, 2002
ATLANTA -- The slaying of 5-year-old Samantha Runnion, who was dragged kicking and screaming from her apartment courtyard recently, is an event almost unbearable for a parent to contemplate.
Other recent abductions of children in Utah and San Diego make us wonder if there's anything we can do to prevent such a crime.
Police and child experts suggest there are many ways to fight back.
Q: How can we make our children safe?
A: First of all, know where your children are at all times. While at work, leave them with a trusted adult. Check out the references of the day-care center or the caregivers who are responsible for your children. Never leave a child alone in a car, or in a park, mall or arcade. When at home, keep the doors locked. Children should never answer the door when they're alone or tell a telephone caller that they're alone.
"The old days of letting them play out in the street, where everybody knows who's who, unfortunately, those days are gone," says Lt. Paula Sparks, director of the Cobb County Police Department's Crimes Against Children Unit in metro Atlanta. "You need to be in constant contact with your children."
Q: What should children know by heart?
A: Every child should know his telephone number, home address and full name. He should also know where you work and your work telephone number.
Q: What are the chances of my child being abducted by a stranger?
A: Small. Fewer than 10 percent of abducted children are taken by total strangers, according to Sparks. Relatives and acquaintances commit the huge majority of all child abductions.
Q: So should we still teach children not to take candy from strangers?
A: That's good advice, but woefully inadequate. Children don't really know what a stranger is, according to British psychologist David Warden. Quoted in a child safety publication printed by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Warden says: "They feel that once someone tells his name, he ceases to be a stranger."
Parents must be explicit. A stranger is anyone whom the parents don't know. But parents should also tell their children to be wary of certain situations or actions.
Q: What kind of actions?
A: Any adult who offers a toy, or candy, or asks a child for help in finding a puppy or asks for help with his car should trigger an alarm. Tell your offspring that children help children but that adults don't need children to help them.
Q: Does this mean we shouldn't teach our children to respect adults?
A: Children do not need to respect adults who make them feel threatened or uneasy in any way, says Richard Grant, a crime prevention officer with Atlanta's Fulton County Police.
And children need to know that strangers look just like us, Grant stresses. "They don't look like a monster. They are going to have a big old smile on their face, they are going to say a lot of nice, kind, friendly words, but it's a trick."
Q: What should kids do if an adult tries to grab them?
A: Run and scream. "Don't be afraid to fight back; don't be afraid to start screaming," Sparks says. Bring attention to yourself, Grant says. "Play the biggest fool you ever played."
Q: What should kids know to physically defend themselves?
A: Teach kids what their space is, says Joe Corley of Joe Corley American Karate. Their space is about the distance of an adult's outstretched arm, plus a foot or two. "If they can learn to dance and do gymnastics, they can certainly learn to move in such a way as to keep an adult from invading their space," he says.
Children also need to learn mindfulness. We needn't make them paranoid, but they must be aware that some adults may intend them harm.
Q: Can I let my children play outside?
A: When they're outside, they need to be in the care of a responsible adult. Even then, they must stick with the group.
"Stay around your friends, stay around your classmates, your teachers or the adult person providing supervision," Grant says. "We know these individuals are looking for a young person who gets separated from the group."
Q: What else can help safeguard my child?
A: Easy and open communication between parent and child is crucial, experts say. Children must feel comfortable telling a parent about situations that scared or bothered them and must feel that the parents will listen. "Rapport is a biggie," Sparks says. "You've got to have that rapport with your children so they know they're not going to get in trouble for telling the bad things."
For more information
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, a clearinghouse for information about child safety, can be reached at (800) 843-5678 or www.missingkids.com. |
