More Deep Thoughts . . . .
  * Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  * How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  * How is it possible to have a civil war?
  * If all the world is a stage, where IS the audience sitting?
  * If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  * If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
  * If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  * If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
  * If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  * If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  * Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
  * Why is it called tourist 'season' if we can't shoot at them?
  * Atheism ... It's a nonprophet organization.
  * Where are we going?  And what's with this handbasket?
  * So, if all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
  * If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?  Are they just the slow learners?
  * If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
  * One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. |