I Will Continue to Continue, to Pretend.... Message Board

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Politics : I Will Continue to Continue, to Pretend....

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To: Sully- who wrote (23923)	11/13/2006 12:25:44 PM
From: Sully-	of 35834

Qaeda Redefines Victory as Phased Redeployment Satire from ScrappleFace By Scott Ott on Global News (2006-11-13) — Sources close to al Qaeda and CNN now say that the terror organization has begun high-level internal discussions designed to redefine “victory” in Iraq as “phased redeployment.” “Stay the course is not a strategy,” said an unnamed al Qaeda official based in Iran. “Victory is not a strategy. We’re losing the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people, not to mention other assorted body parts.” The change in tone among al Qaeda leaders comes in the wake of recent secret elections which saw moderates and progressives sweep to power and take leadership of key committees. “We can’t keep sending thousands of foreign martyrs in to do the job that local Iraqi martyrs should be doing,” said an anonymous source based in Syria. “The cost is too high in money and lives…well, mostly in money, since we have plenty of lives to spare.” Many top al Qaeda leaders now openly confess that the presence of their foreign terrorists has driven Iraq to the brink of civil war, and that the only way to “win the peace” is to redeploy al Qaeda fighters to a neighboring country. “We’re been waiting for the Iraqi mosque militias to stand up, so we can stand down,” the source said. “[Muslim cleric] Moktada al-Sadr needs to accelerate recruitment and training for his Mahdi Army. As long as al Qaeda is there planting roadside explosives and car-bombing the marketplaces, there’s no pressure on him to become self-sufficient, to step up and rule the country.” scrappleface.com

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