I have a lot of experience with beautiful women. Uh-oh, social experience, I mean. I think beautiful women and men, and wealthy people, sometimes have it written or write life such that they wind up "settling for less."
Sometimes, it's irrelevant, too.
One nice thing about special ed is the lack of pretense, expectation, diverted unconscious.
I don't have any kids, let's all thank the lard. I am a self centered person, completely, and would have to become another person to have a child of any type. When I think about X, I get freaky nuts. It scares me. I'm not ready, mature enough, to live from the inside out. I am afraid "I" would disappear if I lived that way. Instead, it's all about me, me, me. I feel it's hard to hang on to even that, and I will somehow "lose".
Pathetic, but realistic, too.
It's a scary world, and I am a cower-d.
But still, I certainly admire people who are not. I will be in this little hole, most, or all, of my life. Don't know if I "got here", or just haven't popped out. Whack a Mole, life is.
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