Bush Sends More Hurricanes Toward Florida (by Liberal Larry)
I already covered this in a previous post, and saying any more risks overstating the obvious. However, this issue is so vitally important that I feel I must address it again: Bush is causing violent weather conditions with his failed environmental policies, just as if he were firing major hurricanes right out of his ass.
It all seems pretty cut and dry, but many of my readers laughed at me.
"Great satire, Larry!" you said. "You're a real hoot, Larry!"
Well, my friends, it appears that it is I who will have the last last laugh, for a recent article by MoveOn.org completely confirms my hypothesis. A non-partisan organization committed to throwing Hitler Bush and all Reichpublicans out of office, MoveOn.org has concluded that the Shrub is to blame for the recent spate of killer hurricanes. His stubborn refusal to ratify Kyoto and sign our economy over to the U.N. has caused global warming, which in turn causes extreme weather conditions that take hundreds of thousands of lives every year. Millions, if you count the obligatory people who mistake downed powerlines for spark-shooting snakes and stomp on them.
The NOAA - a known GOP shill, mind you - has put its own spin on things, claiming that deadly hurricanes have actually been decreasing in frequency and intensity over the past 100 years:
"Table 5, which lists hurricanes by decades since 1900, shows that during the twenty year period 1960-1979 both the number and intensity of landfalling U.S. hurricanes decreased sharply! Based on 1900-1959 statistics, the expected number of hurricanes and major hurricanes during the period 1960-1979 was 36 and 15, respectively. But, in fact, only 27 (or 75%) of the expected number of hurricanes struck the U.S. with only 10 major hurricanes or 67% of that expected number. The decade of the eighties showed little change to this trend. Even the decade of the nineties, showed below average landfall frequencies."
It all sounds almost believable until we consider that NOAA is a federal organization, and thus under the control of Bush. Besides, scientists have already concluded that global warming causes milder weather as well, which is why Bush is to blame for lousy ski seasons. So if NOAA thinks a decreasing trend in major hurricanes gets Dubya off the hook, they're sadly mistaken.
Furthermore, NOAA's faulty ata is the result of a less than scientific method for measuring hurricanes. The Saffir-Simpson hurricane scale (named after two right-wingers, no doubt) merely uses wind speed to grade a hurricane's intensity. They neglect to consider other essential factors, such as media hype, the political party of the sitting president, environmentalist screeching, and the number of veins bulging out of AL Gore's neck. An uneducated and ill-informed person may look at NOAA's statistics and assume that hurricanes are on a diminishing trend, but in reality we're on the verge of an environmental armageddon. Unless Bush stops protecting the polluters and starts shutting down our factories, the whole planet will spin out of its orbit and crash into the sun.
September 24, 2004
Comments
If only Kerry had your moral clarity and conviction..
Posted by: bahabuddha™ | September 24, 2004 08:24 PM
Thanks for the links. Very informative.
Posted by: W.R.X. | September 25, 2004 07:25 AM
Its all about keeping poor folks and black folks away from the polls in Florida Larry.
People displaced by the hurricanes can't vote now can they? And who gets tossed out when their cardboard box or trailer gets trashed in a storm? Poor folks that's who. Who do poor folks vote for? Democrats obviously, since Dems are the only ones that care about poor folks.
Does anyone think its a coincidence that these storms are hitting Florida of all places? You don't hear about hurricanes hitting Bush strongholds like Oklahoma do you? Of course not. Bush WANTS those people to vote.
Posted by: Calliope | September 25, 2004 08:22 AM
blamebush.typepad.com
Man, that Bush and his trusty sidekick, Rove, are something else. First they get Dan Rather to base an anti-Bush story on badly-forged documents. Now they are sending hurricanes to keep poor people from voting in FL. |
