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Politics : I Will Continue to Continue, to Pretend....
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To: Sully- who wrote (25795)2/28/2007 9:44:59 AM
From: Sully-   of 35834
 
Gore Lives Carbon-Neutral, Fat-Neutral Lifestyle

Satire from ScrappleFace
By Scott Ott on Science

(2007-02-28) — Oscar-winning filmmaker Al Gore today expanded his call for Americans to reduce their output of greenhouse gases — the so-called carbon-footprint — adding a demand to cut the rate of adult-onset obesity, which he termed “your gluteal fatprint.”

Speaking to fellow Oscar winners who flew in to Nashville last night for a banquet at his 10,000 square-foot residence, Mr. Gore explained that Americans burn too much carbon-rich fuel, and eat too much fatty food.

While conservative groups have attacked Mr. Gore’s “hypocrisy” on the global-warming issue, since his Tennessee home burns 15 times the electricity of the average home and he often flies on corporate jets, Mr. Gore maintains that he lives a “carbon-neutral” lifestyle because he also invests in solar and wind energy projects to counterbalance his own substantial carbon-footprint.

“Many people don’t realize that I also live a fat-neutral lifestyle,” Mr. Gore said. “While the inconvenient truth is that I’ve gained a few pounds since I beat George Bush at the polls in 2000, I also make large investments in companies that produce bran, sprouts and legumes, thereby reducing my “real feel” weight to around 175.”


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