Or, We Could Kill All The Pirates
By Lt Col P
Against the dictates of all common sense, and fine historical examples, this shit is still going on.
.............. On a Vital Route, a Boom in Piracy Somali Marauders Step Up Attacks in Gulf of Aden; Shipping Costs Soar
ABOARD A YEMENI COAST GUARD VESSEL -- Somali pirates plying the Gulf of Aden in speedboats equipped with grenade launchers and scaling ladders have launched what the maritime industry calls the biggest surge of piracy in modern times, sending shipping costs soaring and the world's navies scrambling to protect the main water route from Asia and the Middle East to Europe. ......................
We have discussed this before, always with the same tone of disbelief. WTF, over? This is an ugly problem, but a simple one, and one that has a remarkably simple solution--
Kill all of the pirates.
Seriously. Why do we allow a handful of khat-addled assholes to dominate one of the world's most important sea lanes? We, the western powers, have sufficient naval units in the area to take care of the problem in very quick order. What we lack is the will. We apply an idiotically high standard of judicial due process to a situation that doesn't lend itself well to a judicial solution. Anyone who has dealt with Somalis can tell you that they laugh at western legalisms, and what they perceive as western weaknesses. And then they redouble their violent efforts to take what they want from you. They do react very well to a boot on their necks, and a gun to their heads. Then they tend to wise up quickly.
Here's how it needs to be done. Oil tanker sends distress call, takes evasive actions insofar as it is capable. (Or better yet, armed men aboard oil tanker defend by fire.) Coalition forces despatch vessels and boarding parties. Pirates who survive ensuing gun battle are lined up by the rail and shot in the head, then dumped overboard. Pirate boats are burned. If their bases or villages on the coast can be identified, said bases are raided and destroyed. No fuss no muss, no ransom, no hostages, no skyrocketing costs.
Damn, sometimes we are our own worst enemies. At the very moment we need to keep oil flowing freely at the lowest possible prices, our own flaccidness jacks up the price.
Furthermore, what a great way to (re)instill the fighting spirit in our junior naval officers and seamen? Get 'em away from an ennervating preoccupation with safety, paperwork and risk aversion.
Were I one of them, I'd jump at the chance for a good clean fight. The average Somali is in fact a true asshole, but he usually puts up a good struggle. While not generally large in size, he makes a decent trophy. Imagine a US destroyer headed into port with skull-and-crossbones painted on the superstructure, and a couple skinnies dangling from the davits??
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