** Off Topic: Pirate's Bad Taste Weekend Original Jokes **
1. News flash: EBAY and UBID reporting higher than anticipated
demand for the "Monika L. throat lozanges"..
2. News flash: After a grueling interogation by Ken Starr, Monika
agrees to "cough" up the evidence!
3. News flash: Consumer reports indicate the Monika affair
is widely accepted by the public, new evidence indicates
BILL doesn't inhale and Monika doesn't swallow.. (Dem little birdies...really)
4. News flash: New meaning to the words "White house"....
5. News flash: Monika seen in speech therapy, she just
can't seem to say "Blue Dress", instead it comes out
as "Blew...Dress".. "Blow.. Dress"... "Suck...Dress"...
6. News flash: Monika loses 50 pounds, nope not lipo-suction,
not exercise, not a diet, apparently it was stomach lining
"goo" removal..
7. News flash: Monika sign's contract with 7-11 mini-marts
endorsing the new line of Monika "Slurp..ee's", only 1 color
available.
8. News flash: Secret audo tapes released, Bill french kissing
Monika.. dialog as follows;
<BILL> "Oh Monika, kiss.. kiss. tongue.. spit... Hey, you taste
like "chicken", but you didn't each chicken for lunch" ?
<Monika> "No.. silly, you had chicken....." <- bad joke! yuk!
9. News flash: Frederico's of Hollywood, adult apparrel shop,
reports high demand for the Monika inflated doll, but took
customers by surprise with the fine print "Inflate to 250 pounds"..
10. News flash: US post office unviels new stamp of BILL, early
rumor indicate the glue is authentic and people are relucatant to
lick it.
11. News flash: US Post office hires Monika to QA the stamps,
ensuring the gloo is the real "thang".
12. News flash: Wanted: Joe Da Pirate, last seen on SI, 1 patch,
1 leg, and hangs out with his parrot friend named polly, if you
seen this character call 1-800-Unsolved-Pirate-Mysteries.
Pirate |
