hope this gives you a laugh - To:roulette who started this subject
From: uthabros Saturday, Jun 8, 2002 8:41 PM
Respond to of 17581
utha thoughts - Hair is a man's curse. Whether you have a lot, a little or barely any. One thing for sure is that when you hit 50, hair starts growing everywhere you don't need it! If you don't keep on top of it you'll start looking like a Mr Potato head that was left in a glass of water and forgotten about. Ear hair is the worse because they are white and not readily seen until they've grown so long it looks like you have antennas growing out of your ears! And cutting them is not as easy as it looks. Scissors and electric clippers only do half the job. Hard to get in those nucks and cranies! Nose hairs, geez,they grow faster then the weeds in your garden. And they grow looonnng!!! And they ain't easy to get at with electric clippers or scissors. And you better be careful not to slip and have those scissors ram into your brain!(What's left of it after 50!) Eyebrows grow like wild brush. I swear I see tumble weeds once in awhile rolling around in them! And,of course, they are sitting out there for all to see, so you better keep on top of trimming them. And being over 50 means that the gray hairs will stick out for all to see. It's like they are talking to people you meet saying,"Hey, lookie here! I'm a big ole gray hair stickin out on ole utha's forehead. Yeah, he tried to cut me down but it was useless cause I just grew me another on his other eyebrow! Ain't I dopey lookin', big ole gray hair sittin on utha's forehead for all to see!" Then there's the life long mustache. You know, the one that's been your trade mark all your manly life. It's been the one thing that you could change to meet any new manly trend that the girls were leaning to. Started out as a mustache,then went to a Fu man Chu look when the hippy look got girls and then grew it to a beard when the country rockers grew them and all the girls loved the look. Then you trimmed the beard close when the clean disco look attracted the girls then back to a mustache after you got married and bagged that good paying management job! Now the gray hairs have dispersed themseleves all over it and there is no way you can just cut the gray ones. And your kids are now noticing and saying how your mustache is stating to get gray hairs! You think about cutting it off but you've had it soo long and it's been a big piece of your manhood and girl attracter that you just can't bear the thought of not having it anymore, even if it goes entirely gray. I have a friend who actually grew his into a Fu man Chu again, and it is mostly gray and he thinks it looks great. I'm sure when he looks in the mirror he doesn't see the gray. The man's in 'Gray hair" denial. My problem with cutting it off is that I have what is called a "Witches upper lip". That is a little lump that hangs down in the middle of my upper lip and the mustache hides it. If I cut off my mustache, that hanging lump will be there for all to see. Oh, the vanity of it all.I guess that's why most older guys keep their beards and mustaches, even when the hair turns white. Dying the hair is an option but it's just too unmasculine for most men to turn to. Not me. I ain't going there. I kinda like the totally shaved bald headed look as an option if all else fails but I would have to see a computer generated picture of what I would look like before I did it. The hairs on your ass you can't see and there is nobody asking to see anyway, so I wouldn't care if they turned gray or not.Funny how your armpit hair stays the same and never grays. The problem is that your under arms stink more and faster then ever before! The worst, most depressing hair that turns gray for a man is their pubic hair. Trust me, no matter what your man says, that's the most depressing for a man. One day, after a shower you are toweling down and you notice a couple gray pubic hairs. It's like being hit by lightining.It's like telling you that the aging process has now hit the most sacred of manly places and you have no control over it! You start thinking that the gray hairs are looking to take away your manhood. There's no "Fuking" way you are going to allow that to happen. You hop into your brain and go to the center of your body and start calling up all the owed favors you have given out to your body when it needed them. You know, like when you stopped smoking cause your lungs begged you to, because they were starting to lose the capability of processing oxygen. And when you stopped drinking because your liver said that the fat growing around it was starting to prevent it from acting like the body cleansing filter it was meant to be. Oh yea, and don't forget when you started to eat properly and gave up all the great tasting fatty foods you loved just because your heart said it would give out soon. And when you started to exercise again, oh the pain and sacrifices you made for your body. Your body turns and looks at you and says "Yea right, like I OWE YOU? NOT!" So,you suddenly decide it's time to make an appointment with your doctor and have a physical. When you are there you whisper in his ear - "Hey Doc, wassup with all this growing gray hairs on my body and what's this Viagra stuff I keep hearing about! " ;>)))!!! |
