Some funnies about engineers:
> Comprehending Engineers, -- Take One
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.
>
> Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
> minutes!
>
> Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
>
> Pastor: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.
> [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
> They're rather slow, aren't they?
>
> George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their
> sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
> them play for free anytime.
>
> The group was silent for a moment.
>
> Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
> tonight.
>
> Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy
> and see if there's anything he can do for them.
>
> Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Comprehending Engineers -- Take Two
>
> In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up
> against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then,
>
> every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half
> the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an
> engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?"
>
> The mathematician said: "Never."
>
> The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time."
>
> The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close
> enough for all practical purposes."
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Comprehending Engineers -- Take Three
>
> There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all
> things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30
> years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted
> him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one
> of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and
> everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In
> desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so
> many of their problems in the past.
>
> The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying
> the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk
> on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is
> where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked
> perfectly again.
>
> The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his
> service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The
> engineer responded briefly:
>
> One chalk mark .. ..... ..... $1
> Knowing where to put it ..... $49,999
>
> It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Comprehending Engineers -- Take Four
>
> The Top 10 Things Engineering School didn't teach
>
> 10. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
> 9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
> 8. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.
> 7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it,
> except the complex math, which you will never use.
> 6. Always try to fix the hardware with software.
> 5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon
> lab every day for the rest of your life.
> 4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
> 3. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
> 2. If you like junk food, caffeine and all- nighters, go into
> software.
> 1. Dilbert is a documentary.
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Comprehending Engineers -- Take Five
>
> Q: What is the difference between Mechanical
> Engineers and Civil Engineers?
>
> A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons,
> Civil Engineers build targets. |
